Hibernation, a meltdown, and trying not to be a failure

Epic fail of having a blow out fight with your boyfriend first thing in the morning. So when the tears come you realize yeah you won’t be leaving the house today. You don’t text him because you need to be alone and figure out all these overwhelming feelings that you’d prefer to drink away or just shake off because that’s the way you grew up.

Two people moving in together in their thirties is so much harder than being young, super poor, moving in. You’re adults with your own opinions, baggage, furniture that you love and may have to give up. It’s just different. Especially if you have a partner that’s lived alone for 7 years – to say its an adjustment is an overstatement.

We’re struggling to find balance and hosting families, traveling for Thanksgiving, my own familia issues have only made them harder. I haven’t made time to run and work right now is anything but easy. It’s just everything is hard. And on top of it this man I do love is very sensitive. He’s made of fine china and I’m all elbows. He fronts about hurt feelings, loses his temper, and yells. I hate yelling and walk away. We need to communicate better but it’s hard. Balance is hard and so is life.

Sometimes you need a break to climb back under the covers. I will get up and start over… Each day is a chance for that and a blessing. It just sucks right now, everything feels so hard, and I feel like I’m failing.

You need to start somewhere and these days I don’t even know where to start.



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