When Orientation kicks me in the face…I run to Starbucks

Dear Orientation,
I am so very very VERY tired of you. Is it too much to ask that my students from Tier One Fancy Research Institution are prepared? Clearly it is…and sadly Fancy Institution is poorly funded and I only have 15 minutes individually with them since I need to serve our other 16,000 non-new students. I mean don’t get me wrong they get lots of lovely presentations through out yesterday and today. Yet clearly they failed to pay attention. This troubles me. I hate making students cry by telling them “Sorry homie, you’re on probation” which sometimes leads to “Buh-bye, you’ve been dismissed.” Life is hard but those are the facts.

Sometimes I just want to yell ‘PULL IT TOGETHER.” Also yesterday when I told you to do X,Y, and Z so we could have a productive discussion…that wasn’t a suggestion, yo.

It’s my job to advise you….if you do not follow my sage advice…I may judge you here.

However most of my freshman are awesome and adorable. They want to be doctors, change the world, or study business and be very rich. I use a lot of energy trying to funny, hip, and mostly make dry material interesting. While this material is BORING it is CRITICAL!!! You need to graduate, beaatches!!!!

Orientation killed all my energy and I’m EXHAUSTED!!! Starbucks to the rescue. HELLO SKINNY VANILLA LATTE! These do not taste as good as regular vanilla lattes but less calories and you know…Mexico vacay. So I will try. Yep, still gives me that little crack addict boost I need.

We also started EXTRA early this morning and I was terrified of being late to my student appointments so I decided to run after work. It saddened me that I missed my run this morning. These morning runs are truly the one thing keeping me sane after the post funeral grief, weeks behind in work, and Orientation. I really think Orientation may be killing me….very very slowly.

Maybe I should of saved some of this for my Confessions tomorrow with Kathy from Vodka & Soda. Oh well, forces me to have non-work related confessions. Actual grown-up interesting confessions…hmmm…ok…I wish I could drink during lunch because that would inspire much better confession posts. Straight up Hemingway style.

Alright, my interweb lovelies, I need to meet with (shocker) another student, drink some water, and psych myself up for a run. Hope you’re having a Tuesday that does NOT require mid-day starbucks but if it does, I’m right there with you.


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