Do you ever feel messy? That your life is a series of small fires that are partially burning but not yet under control? At any moment any unexpected wind could turn it all into a wild brush fire that eats away acres of land…..no? Maybe it’s just me struggling in the land of the grown ups.
The weekend ate me alive. Friday – quick drinks with a colleague taking a new job. Run home for 6pm dinner with friends & their adorable 3 year old. Saturday – 6 mile run, grill for my Dad and off to a soccer match ( Father’s Day gift) after I headed to the SJC. Sunday – Prepped for my cousins baby shower hosted by my mama (8 -1). Baby shower 1-7pm equals exhaustion!!!
I miss my Grandma and I’m still feeling the grief. My lovely mama is out of the bell jar but its still hard for her. I hate seeing her in pain it just breaks my heart.
My grief ran away with my credit card and I have been not living within my means…. Sigh…fail in land of the grown ups. This weekend included. I need to get back on track financially and reassess my long term goals. Grown ups need to retire apparently that involves savings and being debt free. I need to look at the damage and post Mexico really start to tackle that shizz. Step one admit the problem.
Work is work. Some parts I love other parts drive me insane on top of the fact I’m undeniably behind.
I guess it’s just one of those days where it feels like I’m failing at everything. I want to turn it all around but I get overwhelmed or tacked by another unexpected wave of disaster. 2014 is just kicking my ass and it sucks.
I still want to be all sunshine or mostly sunshine but it’s harder than it looks. So for tonight I’m just going to try and count my blessings and know I have a date with a beautiful run and hot coffee in the morning.
I’m looking forward to the quiet and hoping to find a little grace out there. I’m making mistakes but I’m getting up and trying each day. I pray that counts for something.
Good night besos,
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