I had a mini meltdown yesterday. Just a mini one, not one of those full sized meltdowns where you quit your job, or cut off all your hair, or make an insane purchase that is non refundable. There were thirty-three year old tears of how did I get here and is this what I’m supposed to be doing and how are the next thirty-three gonna look??? In hindsight, that is a ways away and of course it’s overwhelming. Pretty much every weekend from Thanksgiving until January third, me and the boy had plans, family obligations, holidays, etc. I think I just need a mental health day.
Probably one of those eat, pray, love moments or some kinda of fancy yoga retreat but we all know that’s not in the budget plus all my vacation days are promised to the four potentially five weddings I have this year. Yes, that’s where all my $$$ is going…I swear.
My sister’s texting me I need to talk to my Mom about tying up some legal issues, I have my performance evaluation coming up at work, I’m trying to get all the crap out my diet, and adjust my schedule so I can actually cook & work out. So yes, it feels like a lot is going on but A LOT IS ALWAYS GOING ON. I need to get some zen. How are some people wired to take everything in stride? I mean I’m pretty laid back but the kindergartner sized laundry pile bums me out a bit. Plus I think I need to realize that until I get my own washer and dryer, laundry is a weekend activity for me. KNOW THY SELF. WORD.
So in true Bridget Jones fashion and getting with my 2015 word – INSPIRED – I hopped onto Amazon and ordered a few books. One on working, another that was outdoorsy inspirational, and a good ole fiction book. I love books and there’s nothing better than hot coffee and an entire weekend snuggled up with a read.
I should be writing more about the mini meltdown but maybe I’m not there yet. Letting all my emotions out has never been one of my strengths. I’m the smile now, cry later type….and I’m preferably crying over a movie (but not) alone. Seriously way easier for me to be ok to cry over Stephen Hawking (Theory of Everything) than my own damn problems. What a hot mess I am!
This weekend though I am making NO PLANS! Just time for me to do laundry, read, and get in some much needed mileage. I did break down and pick up a new pair of running shoes. I think my shoes are not what they were…granted I got them in March 2014 and have done three halfs in them, so yaz probably time. Thankfully, I had a gift card so those bad boys were free!!!
It’s getting late and I need to function like a non-melting down adult and get some rest for tomorrow. It’s ok to get kicked in the face, we just have to get back right? Even when it’s our own selves mentally kicking us. Sigh, I’m a crazy pants but it happens from time to time.