The Bitch is Back with stories on destination weddings, running, and poor decisions


Vacation was great! There were some ups and downs as always when you’re going on Destination Wedding Vacay for someone else. These are the things I’ve learned about destination weddings that your friends try to sell you on as your own vacation plus their own wedding, so win win right? Ummm…actually kinda wrong but we’ll get there. You should know that I have been to 4-5 destination weddings at this point in mi vida. And yes, Budapest was by far the farthest.

Don’t get it twisted, you clearly love this person if you’re going to travel out of the way for their wedding. Well, you or your partner love this person dearly. That being said you should expect/prepare for the following:

1. Plan for extra time to enjoy your vacation at what is hopefully a beautiful location. I would strongly recommend taking your extra vacation days AFTER the wedding and arriving as close to the wedding date as possible. The earlier you arrive the more likely you are going to be roped into pre-wedding shenanigans which most likely will come out of your own pocketbook. You will feel obligated to attend to be a good friend/bridal party/ officiant whether or not you really enjoy said activity or the forced company of the bride’s family, groom’s sketchy frat buddies, etc. Extra days after the wedding ensure you get to do what you want, with who you want, and are under no pressure to pay $50 to meet the bride and groom at brunch place you would have never picked.

2. Try to get an itinerary from the happy couple earlier rather than later. Also try and figure out if there are important events that they want you to attend. Rehearsal dinner? Post Wedding brunch? Or you needed me to set up chairs on my vacation that I paid $1250 to fly out here and see you get married…yea…awesome just what I wanted. #truestory Like I said, arrive as close to the wedding as possible.

3. Know that on the day of the wedding, you should just be prepared to roll with the punches. Don’t plan activities or sight-seeing in case the bride/groom needs you….to run and buy fake eyelash glue. #truestory. It’s kind of their day anyways and you don’t want to miss the wedding shuttle since you were day drinking on the ocean and underestimated how long it would take you to cab back to your hotel.

4. Pad your budget a little bit. Destination weddings can be unpredictable and that dinner with the the bridal party two nights before the wedding may cost more than you anticipated. Especially if the groom springs it on you upon arrival. #truestory

5. HAVE FUN! It’s going to be different than you expected and probably less of a vacation but this person is your homie. In the words of Bryan Adams, “Let’s make it all for one and all for love.” One day all the suck will fade and you will be left with beautiful over glossy memories.

In other news, I am undertrained for this marathon. People, I may have realized that training for a marathon with two destination weddings and my busiest time at work just prior to said marathon was a HORRIBLE idea. HORRIBLE. I am still going to attempt it since according to marathoners I still have “enough” training to not officially kill myself. Plus I paid over $100 bucks for this race so not showing up is just not an option…..I may regret this later. The marathon has a 6 hour time limit and my only goal is to not be swept up by the race bus. Please baby Jesus help me out with this one.

Last but def not least, your moment of zen.




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