I ordered a salad 


I managed to eat and snack like a healthy person today. Despite being out and about, I ordered a baby kale salad!!! VICTORY! Of course, I snacked (as I tend to do on Sundays) but instead of delicious crap, I ate plantain chips and dried mango. I had half a health bar for breakfast with no added sugar and one of those wacky ingredient labels. You know where it lists the 5 items in the bar. Shocking, I know.

I did a super sad bastard run on Saturday. My entire body hurt and it was a confirmation that I have been failing on the fitness/food/and general life front. However I’m back and have a whole take no prisoners attitude so soon I will be fit, sexy, and one of the “after” people.

I need to wake up early and make my lunch because it is not happening tonight. So that’s all kids.

Besos,

lbg

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Stop spending money you don’t have and other grown up mistakes

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I WILL NOT

  • Stress shop
  • Spend more than I earn
  • Say yes to dinners, parties, and events I cannot afford
  • Buy lunch more than once a week (baby steps)
  • Be chronically late and take an uber to work
  • Binge on cookies, cupcakes, or other sugar disasters provided in the office

I WILL

  • Budget every month
  • Review all credit cards and stop spending!
  • Workout three times a week
  • Make my lunch
  • Eat more healthy snacks
  • Drink water
  • Clean room and closet on a far more regular basis
  • Donate clothes I do not wear
  • Write three times a week as stress relief/reflective practice

I just ordered a pizza on my credit card and ate the last of some Talenti gelato because perspective. However some Bridget Jones style life goaling was in order. July, you have fucked me over but I will not be defeated. I will take my broke ass and get focused!!!! I will get back on the hamster wheel of grown-upness and make it happen.

Tomorrow I will get on the scale, cry, get off the scale, and work out. I will buy vegetables for consumption from the farmer’s market or Trader Joe’s. I will not spend money on beautiful, expensive, organic food from Whole Foods…money that I do not have. Oh and I will buy dish soap because I should also wash dishes.

EXHAUST

I requested off two days from work to clean out my closet and get rid of crap. I’m going to actually finish that damn Marie Kondo book.

Step 1) Bridget Jones type journaling.

Step 2) Read Marie Kondo book. Clearly reading self help type book = grown up.

Step 3) Start working out over the next week in lead up to “4 day staycation aka grown-up retreat.”

Step 4) Read Whole30 to prepare for paleo type eating in mid-August/September.

Ok, so I took off 8/8 & 8/9 on a whim based on a workshop I was at on Thursday. Let me back up, Thursday the University held a professional development conference for staff. I selected a couple of workshops primarily on balance, mindfulness, and putting your vision into action. Cheesy, I know. There was still some solid shizz discussed though and I walked away with some useful tips. One such tip was take vacation! JUST DO IT! Even if you’re broke and can’t go anywhere. So I’m having my own grown-up little staycation and going to focus on some me stuff that I want to fuckin’ tackle.

liz lemon

BROKE GIRL STAYCATION

  1. Workout every day (maybe even twice a day). I’m going to take a Hipline class, barre method, and do some running.
  2. Wash all my clothes.
  3. Donate everything I don’t wear.
  4. Organize closet.
  5. Read everyday.
  6. Drink smoothies.
  7. Eat healthy lunch salad.
  8. No tv (unless on in background while closet working ie Gilmore Girls on Netflix)
  9. Listen to music and podcasts only.
  10. Do some mindful/reflective zen shizz about what I want, what makes me happy, and ways to improve life.

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That was some solid work, peeps. I’m drinking water not booze and going to watch some Great British Baking and call it a night.

Besos,

lbg

 

 

Yoga & lemon water will never be as good as wine

Hey Interwebbies,

My life got crazy as eff this Spring and of course when that happens I turn to booze, food, more booze, with some late night snacking. As a 35 year old goddess of a woman, my body behaves accordingly and gains all the weight. Yeah, those 20 year old days of dancing all night, drunkenly eating an entire pizza (alone), and waking up able to slip into a bikini on are GONE. Gone, without a trace. Eff.

The past few weeks, I’ve been really getting back on track. So there’s been cooking, being that shlumpy lady at the work out class, and drinking less. I need wine though. Being healthy is not worth enough that I will ever give up wine, kids. I’ve got to have sanity and so many things require a buzz. Thank you Zinfandel, Cab Franc, and Malbec… You’re my golden girls. 

I try and remind myself I have to wear a swimsuit happily in August so I put down the cookie. Ok, I didn’t but I ate some spinach later. Moderation, right? I actually do like working out, it’s just I’m a slacker about making the time. I generally always feel so much better getting some serious movement in my life. My fitfusion membership has helped. When I’m uninspired or broke AF, I have no excuse not to select a video and get some fit in. I’ve mostly focused on Jillian Michaels & Tara Stiles ( yoga, beatches) but there’s a ton of trainers on there.

We’ve got summer orientation galore, so I’m crazy busy at the new job but I’m really enjoying it. I’ve just got to eat like a grown person and keep up the workouts. I did lose a pair of jeans to the thigh rub battle the other day and that was a sad loss. RIP Gap skinny jeans… You served me well… Even in the end when I was clearly a size larger. You mustered on, thank you for your service.


My summer fit has ups & downs. Sunday, I lost all control at a BBQ and ate all the chips, hummus, and wine. There may have been pasta as well. But I got in a Saturday workout so ya know I’m trying.


At least I still have 9 weeks left. I’m off to drink lemon water and not snack… Ok the chips are gone so there’s nothing to snack on #willpower.


Besos,

lbg

That 10 percent

Back, back, back and forth.

Being an adult is learning that you have control over maybe 10% of the things in your life on a good day. On a bay day, all you’ve got is 1% which is how you handle it. There has been quite a bit of back and forth’ing in 2016. I’m still here (thankfully) and getting to place where I can gear up and strive to hit that 10%.

That pretty month of May effed some shizz up….but June will be here in a few days and I plan on making the Summer months work for me. Finance wise, my budget didn’t work and we had a LOT of unplanned expenses related to my boyfriend’s graduation and some family events. Not to mention, I’ve been buying my lunches for at least two weeks (that’s 100 that wasn’t planned right there). My body/fitness has turned into a softer and larger lump…not good. I mean naked (still decent) but my clothes like to leave indentations over my body after I take them off…so not good. I finally decided that I needed to step up and take back my 10%. So…Saturday morning, I stepped on the scale and thought well…that explains why all my clothes without elastic are painful. Keep in mind, it’s still a healthy weight but more than my 5 foot body is used to carrying and way less muscle. BLARGH. Yes, my toes need a pedicure…badly.

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I’m going to rally for June and try to bring some financial fitness, mental wellness, and you know real exercise to mi vida. I re-added the my fitness pal (mfp) app to my phone so that I can, ya know, actually be accountable for the food choices that I’m making. I’ve been sick this week and cancelled fun plans to stay home and get better. Hashtag adulting. I bought some groceries on Saturday that supported me eating vegetables and getting better.

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The thought of exercise exists me at this point but I plan to start tomorrow. It’s completely against my will but it’s work out or buy all new pants. I still may need new pants but I have to at least attempt to lose some of this weight.

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I do have a goal for ultimate fitness….August 18th. I have a bachelorette party that I’ve very excited for!!! There will wine tasting, dancing, a dope house with a swimming pool and I will be expected to wear a swimsuit and there will photographic evidence. Sigh, every girl’s nightmare. Therefore the plan is to not look like a blob by this date. Non-blobby would be ideal with all my young cute 29 year old girlfriends even though I’m a 35 year old lady (Grandma, really) that would like to be in a maxi dress, pool adjacent. Anything with stretch really.

mindy

 

That just makes me want to live in elastic and chug wine…and gain zero weight…that is a girls dream…throw in sex with 90s Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum and the entire Magic Mike crew dancing for me and my girlfriends…yep, that’s about it.

Enjoy your three day weekend, peeps!

lbg

 

April, Prince, and tears

Dear April,

You have been a mixed month of crazy. Allergies, opportunities, and unexpected outings have all lead to a massive month of breaking the bank. I’ve been working late nights which means there has been zero fitness. April is really just all about morbid obesity…and debt. BLARGH!

prince

It’s really just time for an April update list.

  1. I got a new job! Holla!
  2. They needed me start right away which meant that I started working LATE! Most nights…plus I had to work on Saturday 4/16 for my old job (couple of hours) and Sunday 4/17 for my new job (similar)…so I worked 12 days straight. EXHAUSTION.
  3. As a result of all this working, I bought food (unhealthy & fast) and did not meal prep. There was no time for fitness….so all my clothes are tight and the scale scared me the other day. BLARGH!
  4. Working all the time means my house is a lair of filth….the RAT KING lives here. It’s sad but true.
  5. As a result of leaving my job, so so MANY unexpected expenses, outings, etc have just fucked my budget. It basically went out the window….and crashed into a million pieces on the street below.

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I’m super excited about the new job though!!! It’s the right move despite bad timing and I won’t be broke and fat forever so you know….Monday is a new day and I will start to pull it together at that point.

chapelle

I just wanted to drop by and say I’m alive…working non-stop with nothing interesting to report. Perhaps, just that Prince died and it was my first day at my new job and DEVASTATION. Also I didn’t know my new team well enough to blast PRINCE and be sad and say we should all drink at lunch…somehow I thought that might be frowned upon. I’m so sad as I type this….Prince, no! He played a few shows in Oakland not too long ago and I had a homie tell me in advance but I opted out of getting tickets because I’ve been so focused on my budget. REGRETS!!!!! I thought I had time! He was only 57! Anyways, rest in peace and power Prince, you will be greatly missed. I will leave you all with this jam and my favorite Charlie Murphy story of all time.

Sad bastard abrazos,

lbg

 

 

 

I’m old but that means lots of toppings & one nice couch

  

  
The adventures in getting old continue, I’m fairly certain being 35 means that I can only successfully go out one night a weekend. This would be depressing except that as a 35 year old I have a fabulous couch. A couch that I really like lying on and watching tv instead of being at the bar and wanting to lay my head down on it at 12:35am. I still had an awesome time in the city with my young 30 year old girlfriends but tonight I’m happy to be home.

In other old lady news….  

I have truly been ignoring my fitness. Like in every way possible. I ignore the my fancy barre studio, weights at home are dusty, and instead I just eat frozen yogurt with lots of toppings. It’s delicious but clothes are tight and I’m broke. That pretty much means I need to get back on the damn treadmill. So I’m putting this out into the interwebs, 21 days of fitness. Even if it 15 minutes, I’m committing myself to 21 days straight of fitness starting April 3rd…. Because it’s like 9:00pm at night right now. Once again, bringing sexy back! But seriously sexy leaves so quickly like after 2 weeks. 

 

I’m continuing to come back to my 2016 theme of finances & fitness. In terms of finances, I’m still here, beatches! I work on my budget, each month and track my spending even when it’s over. I make notes in future month budget tabs so I can plan appropriately. It’s had its ups and downs but the biggest difference is I’m still trying. I really want to kill my credit card debt, and then I’ll attempt to figure out my crushing student loan debt & improve retirement. However one thing at a time!!! Or I’ll just effing cry.  

2016 finances are all about killing the wicked credit card debt and saying no to things I can’t afford. I said no to destination November wedding and another trip. Go, me! It sucks but I really want to end 2016 in a stronger place financially… Even if it means kicking it with my couch more. I was toying with the idea of trying to pick up a weekend job like at Whole Foods for a few months to really help but decided to wait & see what happens with the interview process for this other job. 

The more I read about debt, it seems that a lot of peeps pick up side hustles, so we’ll see.  

Sunday, you’re going to be a game changer! There will be laundry, house cleaning, meal prep, and firness! Success will be mine!!! Or at the very least I will say no to the frozen yogurt…. Ok, I won’t get toppings.

Besos,

lbg 

And so it begins….mid thirties

There’s a lot of change in the wind and I’m trying to hold on for the ride. I’m having some bumps with this new whole fiscal responsible thing but I’m really proud of myself so far. I’m trying to see where I’m spending, how, and when I eff up take it with stride and say “Ok, self…why did this happen and how do I get back on track?” It’s new and hard but I’m committed to making it happen.

My relationship is having some growing pains. There’s so much love but we’re trying to figure out where we both want to be in our next phase of life and if that’s the same…It’s really fucking hard. It’s crazy mature but it also sucks to really love someone and be uncertain that you’re on the same page. We’re trying to figure it out and keep the dialogue open and honest. So you have that…..

I’ve been in the process of applying for a position, and then I got an interview, and then I was a finalist. Now, I’m waiting to see what happens….I really do want it and am keeping my fingers crossed. Trying to trust that the universe has a plan for me and if it’s meant to happen it will happen. I do feel that my interviews were very strong and have little that I regret in terms of preparation or responses….so now I just have to wait….that’s hard.

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Fitness has really been the last priority….I’m averaging like once a week if that…. 35 is supposed to be about finances and fitness so I need to really pull that part together. With interviewing, I didn’t have time to meal prep and was buying my lunch like a fool. This week, I’m back on it and prepared 5 healthy lunches. Tonight, I’m going to work out at home which is why I’m blogging (ACCOUNTABILITY). I need to get some fit in and hopefully it will help clear my head so I don’t dive head first into a pint of ice cream….which is better than alcohol.

Oh yea…I already did that on my actual birthday and it may have ended with me puking and drunk crying about being old….I was straight out of a movie…a sadder less glamorous Bridget Jones movie.

Bridge

Anyways, that’s what’s going on in these parts, Interwebbies…Hopefully there will be more to report soon. News that’s funny and hilarious and involves me working out. But for today is just Old Lady News about trying to keep it together and navigate my mid-thirties like a grown person….and not a Grey’s Anatomy character.

Greys

Besos,

lbg