Take a breath…the world is not crumbling around you

Ok, maybe not a breath, maybe a shot of tequila would be better.

mindydrinking

2016 was supposed to be about fitness and finances. A year where this 35 year old got her ish together and made some real progress toward my effin’ life goals. I just accepted an Assistant Director position, have been diligent about my finances (even w/ a few set-backs) and was getting ready to get my fitness back…I sit here typing this eating dark chocolate. However last night the wheels came off with some issues my Mom. It’s a hot mess and reiterates why I have to kill my debt and be in a better place to help people around me.

My mom has struggled so much with the passing of my Grandmother and never went to grief counseling despite our strong urging. My sister and I thought recently she was doing better but some self destructive habits have come to light. It’s a little bit of a mess right now and the hardest part is that she lied to my sister and has not been honest.

Thankfully, my new boss isn’t in the office until next week and I’ve completed all my tasks so I have some time to help my sister deal with all of this….it’s really just hard and crazy. Hopefully things aren’t too bad but I won’t know until I get down there later tonight. It’s overwhelming but I’m trying to keep a level head. Last night, there was some serious rage, drinking, and crying. You know just the usual Tuesday night. Damn, why does being a grown-up suck so DAMN hard. Seriously!

I have a conference in Santa Barbara for the first few days of May and will be in Portland the second weekend, so the timing is craptastic. Of course, all the joy is being sucked from these things because I’m stressed and will probably stress eat. Only making my clothes even tighter….DAMN…See once again, being a grown-up is not great.

I need to remind myself to read up on loans….see depressing.

Alright, I’m off to microwave a sad sack lunch and attempt to not drink at lunch.

LIZ

Besos,

lbg

April, Prince, and tears

Dear April,

You have been a mixed month of crazy. Allergies, opportunities, and unexpected outings have all lead to a massive month of breaking the bank. I’ve been working late nights which means there has been zero fitness. April is really just all about morbid obesity…and debt. BLARGH!

prince

It’s really just time for an April update list.

  1. I got a new job! Holla!
  2. They needed me start right away which meant that I started working LATE! Most nights…plus I had to work on Saturday 4/16 for my old job (couple of hours) and Sunday 4/17 for my new job (similar)…so I worked 12 days straight. EXHAUSTION.
  3. As a result of all this working, I bought food (unhealthy & fast) and did not meal prep. There was no time for fitness….so all my clothes are tight and the scale scared me the other day. BLARGH!
  4. Working all the time means my house is a lair of filth….the RAT KING lives here. It’s sad but true.
  5. As a result of leaving my job, so so MANY unexpected expenses, outings, etc have just fucked my budget. It basically went out the window….and crashed into a million pieces on the street below.

Prince-memes-10

I’m super excited about the new job though!!! It’s the right move despite bad timing and I won’t be broke and fat forever so you know….Monday is a new day and I will start to pull it together at that point.

chapelle

I just wanted to drop by and say I’m alive…working non-stop with nothing interesting to report. Perhaps, just that Prince died and it was my first day at my new job and DEVASTATION. Also I didn’t know my new team well enough to blast PRINCE and be sad and say we should all drink at lunch…somehow I thought that might be frowned upon. I’m so sad as I type this….Prince, no! He played a few shows in Oakland not too long ago and I had a homie tell me in advance but I opted out of getting tickets because I’ve been so focused on my budget. REGRETS!!!!! I thought I had time! He was only 57! Anyways, rest in peace and power Prince, you will be greatly missed. I will leave you all with this jam and my favorite Charlie Murphy story of all time.

Sad bastard abrazos,

lbg

 

 

 

And so it begins….mid thirties

There’s a lot of change in the wind and I’m trying to hold on for the ride. I’m having some bumps with this new whole fiscal responsible thing but I’m really proud of myself so far. I’m trying to see where I’m spending, how, and when I eff up take it with stride and say “Ok, self…why did this happen and how do I get back on track?” It’s new and hard but I’m committed to making it happen.

My relationship is having some growing pains. There’s so much love but we’re trying to figure out where we both want to be in our next phase of life and if that’s the same…It’s really fucking hard. It’s crazy mature but it also sucks to really love someone and be uncertain that you’re on the same page. We’re trying to figure it out and keep the dialogue open and honest. So you have that…..

I’ve been in the process of applying for a position, and then I got an interview, and then I was a finalist. Now, I’m waiting to see what happens….I really do want it and am keeping my fingers crossed. Trying to trust that the universe has a plan for me and if it’s meant to happen it will happen. I do feel that my interviews were very strong and have little that I regret in terms of preparation or responses….so now I just have to wait….that’s hard.

image

Fitness has really been the last priority….I’m averaging like once a week if that…. 35 is supposed to be about finances and fitness so I need to really pull that part together. With interviewing, I didn’t have time to meal prep and was buying my lunch like a fool. This week, I’m back on it and prepared 5 healthy lunches. Tonight, I’m going to work out at home which is why I’m blogging (ACCOUNTABILITY). I need to get some fit in and hopefully it will help clear my head so I don’t dive head first into a pint of ice cream….which is better than alcohol.

Oh yea…I already did that on my actual birthday and it may have ended with me puking and drunk crying about being old….I was straight out of a movie…a sadder less glamorous Bridget Jones movie.

Bridge

Anyways, that’s what’s going on in these parts, Interwebbies…Hopefully there will be more to report soon. News that’s funny and hilarious and involves me working out. But for today is just Old Lady News about trying to keep it together and navigate my mid-thirties like a grown person….and not a Grey’s Anatomy character.

Greys

Besos,

lbg

 

The thirties is where shizz gets real

Being in your thirties kind of sucks and I wish more people would talk about that.

So I’m going to post about it…suck it, world.

BRIDESMAID

Your 20s are awesome and you can kinda get by with your poor choices, random crazy, and drinking far too much with your buddies. By 30 though ish just really starts to change and time speeds up exponentially. Friends are getting married, people have babies, good babies, bad babies, friends with babies that are afraid to leave the house….all true stories. You start to realize ummmm retirement….or I should buy a house….or I’m so buried in student debt that I won’t be able to buy a house. People get sick parents which is devastating….some people have to care for and bury their parents. There’s a lot less drinking with your buddies and more pouring wine alone with Netflix. You start to see people more at less fun planned stuffy events rather than random hang out sessions…. showers/parties that you have to buy gifts for….just take my check Crate & Barrel….go on..just take it. PS try and not drink too much at said party and throw up in front of someone’s mother in law or two year old. You worry about your job, getting paid more or less money, are you still dream chasing or just hoping not to kick your boss in the face???

BRIDE

Trust me, there are good things in your 30s too but you probably already know them. This is a rude awakening post not yeah 30 is the new 20 post.

BJ1

This 34 year old is have such a rude awakening and as a result I’m really trying to take back my 30s and embrace this whole lame grown-up thing…because basically I don’t want to be a homeless 60 year old. Well, what does one do to take back their life which has made a swift turn into grown-up land??? I can only tell you what I’m doing but if you have advice, please do share.  I’m taking classes…yes, classes.

I’ve signed up for the following classes or single day workshops to kick my 34 year old butt into grown-up land. I mean currently I’ve been kicking it on the borderland of late 20s slacking and early thirties island. The geography of all this is in fact quite complex. Here’s what I’ve signed up for so far and why?

  • Women & Leadership Career course (6 weeks) – I’ve veered from my original career plan and I need some help to shape my career, determine how to grow it, and balance that with other life stuff. I’ve heard great things about the course and hey investing in your career and yourself is SUPER grown-up. Starts in September so I will keep you posted. Career Planning – Making it happen.
  • Getting Out of Debt (workshop) – I want to kill my credit cards but when your sister is having a big fancy wedding, you unavoidably need to spend money, and I need help.
  • Working With a Financial Planner (workshop) – See above but add my student debt plus I want to one day retire and not on the streets.
  • Planning Your Pregnancy Leave workshop – because one day and I think I should know about all the ways campus maternity leave suck so I can plan accordingly.

Thankfully they are all spread out over the next few months and I’m hoping they will assist me in my plan to be a mildly successful adult.

Ok, now I’m going to finish this breakfast burrito.

besos,

lbg

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON????

What is going on with me today???

I just have this low grade dread going on and want to be anywhere but my office…….

The office is mildly dead. this morning my student advising appointments were a mix of cheery frosh & soph with easy little advising questions and issues and juniors that either cancelled or simply no-showed. So there’s no reason for me to feel so down….I got a lot sleep last night. I ate half an avocado, made my lunch, and drank coffee this morning so lack of nourishment shouldn’t be the issue. BLARGH…..unexplained dread is ruining my day.

bed

My homegirl is getting ill so she cancelled our pure barre class tonight for which I am grateful due to the fact that last night my abs were on fire. I think a day of rest for the muscles that apparently exist beneath my tummy is needed.  Who knew I had some muscles under there?? Clearly not me.

The streak of bringing my lunch continues with my chicken, avo, tomato, carrot, and kale salad…BOO YAH! I also brought a nectarine and blueberries. Summer fruit, I love you. Sooooo much. I couldn’t eat clean without you.

avo

I know…it’s an avocado but it’s all I had saved in my images, okay!!! I think I may need to break down and get a coffee…I’m not holding it together well. Maybe an afternoon playlist and expresso will help me pull it together….

To Be Continued…….

COFFEE

Running Away from Mi Vida but first an iced coffee in Gotham

I am have a shitty day. Just straight up shitty.

I want to be someone that wakes up feeling like I am winning at being a grown-up. Maybe this feeling doesn’t exist and everyone else just does a better job faking it than I do?

I don’t want to fight with my boyfriend because his Mom loves him but is basically crazy (as all moms are) and now his day is ruined. Seriously, I’m sorry your mom drives you up the wall but do you have to be a pretentious jerk face??? Should jerkface be one word or two? Sigh, it doesn’t matter.

The best thing about being a grown up is I can run away to one of my favorite cafes and order a strawberry blonde beer and macaroni and cheese. Seriously, not around the block or even hide out at a friends like when you were a kid. I can legit runaway to someplace I love. Until I’m more of a Batman type than a vengeful Joker and then I will return home and restore peace to Gotham.

gotham-batman-e1416863442509

Well apparently it’s really hard to save Gotham and our fight continued…it is now Monday and I’m hopeful that peace with reign again. Being in a relationship is by far one of the hardest things….especially when you and your parter are strong, opinionated people. I wish one of us was more easy going and by us, I mean him.

It’s Monday, so let’s debrief the following things that are on my mind.

1. Marathon….so underprepared.

2. Supplemental disability, I feel screwed by big university employer and now need to secure some supplemental coverage.

3. Turning my week around by focusing on gratitude, optimism, and general grown-up attitude.

4. Make some time to clean the casita.

5. How am I going to run this damn marathon????

6. Coffee….I need more coffee.

7. Please let today not kick me in the face.

LIZ

Alright, I’m going to try and be productive at work today and also work on my marathon playlist for ultimate success. I’m also going to need a second coffee today. We’re having a mini heatwave in the East Bay and it’s never 72 at 9:00am so it’s going to need to be an iced coffee. Yes, I live in northern California with a temperate year round climate, so yes this means it will be oh so hot later on.

its-getting-hot-in-here

Also has anyone watched the Rhi Rhi video for “Bitch, better have my money?” If not, please do. While an interesting video concept, not what I expected. I do enjoy the jam though.

Let’s make Monday happen, kids.

besos,

lbg

FRIDAY LOVE & HATE and the cray cray between!

MIZUNO WE’RE BREAKING UP!

No offense if these are your jam but yesterday I felt like I was changing my stride to avoid pain in my left foot and this morning my left knee hurts. BACK YOU GO! I ended my 5 miler a little early to be on the safe side and I’m glad I did. Anyways, I boxed up those jerk faces this morning and plan to get my booty over to UPS this afternoon on my lunch break. I’m requesting some New Balances in exchange and hoping that these will rock my running world. If not back to my clunky Asics but at least they get the job done.

20140915-081920.jpg

My allergies are crazy today. I just sneezed like five times in a row. Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the idea. I weighed myself this morning and I had a 1.3 lb gain!! HOW???? I mean there was a cookie, some popcorn, half a donut one day but I definitely watching my foodage this week. Sigh, the body is such a weird thing. Maybe I should actually measure myself. I was feeling super bloated this morning so maybe my body is hoarding water. No idea but seriously putting a damper on my aloha fit. BLARGH!

sunshine

Get away from me with your jello pudding! It’s making me fat! Dude, do they still make jello pudding packs? Those bad boys were delicious and apparently that’s where my 1980s mind went w/ visual weight gain.

I’m linking up w/ Amanda of the Fabulous Meet Me at the Barre for Friday Favorites with an EVIL TWIST!!!!

20140627-095104.jpg

FRIDAY HATE HATE!!!!! The Evil Twin of Friday Favorites!

fridayblog

These are the things that are driving me cray to the zee this week and so for your reading pleasure, FRIDAY HOT HATE LURVE!

1) Mizunos as mentioned above they suck (for me!) and I have a slight knee issue from my three runs….Seriously!!! BLARGH!

2) Students that say “Oh this packet is a little crumpled” and then precede to pull sheets of paper that look like they’ve been through war. Nope, not a corner bent or even bent in half but full on crumple status as though someone made an airplane out of it and you have decided to now submit it as an official document.

sex-the-city2

3) That is take hours and hours to clean my entire casita but in a single night it can be destroyed.

EXHAUST

4) When people ask about my weekend and I say “Well I have an 8 mile run” and they immediately say “That’s terrible!”…..thanks for all the support.

regina

5) Really old Deans that don’t understand racism…umm, yes sir…I think it may be time to retire. Bye, bye. We thank you for some of your non-racist service. Best wishes and enjoy this fruit basket.

greys1

6) Laundry….it seems to multiple while I’m at work!

laundry

Alright kids, I hope you have an absolutely fabulous weekend planned and manage to get all your ALOHA FIT in!!! We’re in this together. I will run and cross-train! Positive thoughts, right?

Besos,

lbg