Stop spending money you don’t have and other grown up mistakes

bridge 1

I WILL NOT

  • Stress shop
  • Spend more than I earn
  • Say yes to dinners, parties, and events I cannot afford
  • Buy lunch more than once a week (baby steps)
  • Be chronically late and take an uber to work
  • Binge on cookies, cupcakes, or other sugar disasters provided in the office

I WILL

  • Budget every month
  • Review all credit cards and stop spending!
  • Workout three times a week
  • Make my lunch
  • Eat more healthy snacks
  • Drink water
  • Clean room and closet on a far more regular basis
  • Donate clothes I do not wear
  • Write three times a week as stress relief/reflective practice

I just ordered a pizza on my credit card and ate the last of some Talenti gelato because perspective. However some Bridget Jones style life goaling was in order. July, you have fucked me over but I will not be defeated. I will take my broke ass and get focused!!!! I will get back on the hamster wheel of grown-upness and make it happen.

Tomorrow I will get on the scale, cry, get off the scale, and work out. I will buy vegetables for consumption from the farmer’s market or Trader Joe’s. I will not spend money on beautiful, expensive, organic food from Whole Foods…money that I do not have. Oh and I will buy dish soap because I should also wash dishes.

EXHAUST

I requested off two days from work to clean out my closet and get rid of crap. I’m going to actually finish that damn Marie Kondo book.

Step 1) Bridget Jones type journaling.

Step 2) Read Marie Kondo book. Clearly reading self help type book = grown up.

Step 3) Start working out over the next week in lead up to “4 day staycation aka grown-up retreat.”

Step 4) Read Whole30 to prepare for paleo type eating in mid-August/September.

Ok, so I took off 8/8 & 8/9 on a whim based on a workshop I was at on Thursday. Let me back up, Thursday the University held a professional development conference for staff. I selected a couple of workshops primarily on balance, mindfulness, and putting your vision into action. Cheesy, I know. There was still some solid shizz discussed though and I walked away with some useful tips. One such tip was take vacation! JUST DO IT! Even if you’re broke and can’t go anywhere. So I’m having my own grown-up little staycation and going to focus on some me stuff that I want to fuckin’ tackle.

liz lemon

BROKE GIRL STAYCATION

  1. Workout every day (maybe even twice a day). I’m going to take a Hipline class, barre method, and do some running.
  2. Wash all my clothes.
  3. Donate everything I don’t wear.
  4. Organize closet.
  5. Read everyday.
  6. Drink smoothies.
  7. Eat healthy lunch salad.
  8. No tv (unless on in background while closet working ie Gilmore Girls on Netflix)
  9. Listen to music and podcasts only.
  10. Do some mindful/reflective zen shizz about what I want, what makes me happy, and ways to improve life.

ub

That was some solid work, peeps. I’m drinking water not booze and going to watch some Great British Baking and call it a night.

Besos,

lbg

 

 

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I need a luck dragon….and to get out of this damn bell jar

Do you know you’re in the bell jar or is it only after you’re out that you know you’ve been in???

Where are all my damn Philosophy majors? Probably spending their summer some place dreamy…Damn, kids..I kid..I kid. Well at least about the kids.

Reality-Bites-quotesbell-jar

Oh Reality Bites, I can’t even look to you for wisdom because I’m now a decade older than your characters. What movie should I be referring to with thirty somethings…I mean I obviously have Bridget Jones đŸ™‚
bridget
Well at least this hot mess express woke up and made herself do a nice 3.5 mile run and treated herself to a good ole cup of joe. Work has been very slow which is good because my motivation ended right as I walked in the door. I did try and resuscitate it with another cup of coffee but that too failed. I read two articles on improving your productivity/desk station. I will post them later this week if I find them actually useful. I also saw a job that I’m going to apply for at the University. No expectations just a chance to throw my hat in the ring and possibly increase cash flow if it happens. The work would be different and maybe that’s what this bell jar bebe needs?

I need to fall back into love with the administrative side of my job or at the very least not get caught up in the inefficiency and put in a few LOOOONNNG nights. I need to commit to letting something go so that I can make that happen. Most likely it will be having a clean house, laundry, and dinner with my lovely boyfriend. If I get in at least 3 late nights this week and next, maybe I will be caught up before vacation. I just need a strategy, commit, and put in the hours. Sigh, hours that I am not paid for…BLARGH!

I’m thinking of purchasing this workout dvd despite the current “I’m in the red” financial situation.
Jillian-Hard-Body
First, I need to have a back-up when I can’t get my morning run due to an early morning meeting. Second, if I’m working out in the evening I’d like my boy to be able to enjoy the living room. There’s no tv in our bedroom so I need something that I can download to my ipad. I think I can get this for $10.00 (itunes) which is pretty reasonable and I love Jillian.

Back to the dreaded office, I’d like to have a plan of attack for work so once I return from Mexico I can put on my big girls pants and budget the hell out of the next 6 months.
greys1

I’m 33 and I’d like a kid and to retire one day so I need to break up with my retail therapy, lack of budgeting, and general non-financial savviness.
santana

 

I really want a win…so I can feel like this and possibly turn this ish around. Or at least get me out of the jar.
never2

That’s all I got for tricky Tuesday, my interwebbies. Hope yours is going well. Let me know if you have any budget blogs I should be reading, or any how to be a grown up blogs for that matter.
Besos,
lbg

EVICTION FROM THE DEN OF SLACK

I generally live a life that is held together by tape, popsicle sticks, and elmer’s glue. Right before Brooklyn, I fell into some of my old terrible habits pretty hard. It’s just time to pull it together and try to move forward….after an entire weekend of slacking. I can’t lie. Welcome to The Den of Slack!!! That’s where I was residing and it was wonderful except for the part where my casita looks like I live with the Rat King.
realitybites

Once again here I am blogging about ways to pull it together. I’m starting to think being a grown-up is a series of peaks and valleys of one having their ish together only to have it crumble and start over again. Maybe the real grown-ups are the ones just always starting over…but without complaint or blogging lists? I’m not sure…I’m fairly certain I’m not one of those people. I’m the one trying to do while being only slightly drunk.
BRIDGET

I’m more of a Bridget Jones person. With that in mind, here are my little goals for the week and some things I will be attempting to improve on after that. Time to take off these bathing suit bottoms I’ve been prancing around in and put on my big girl panties…yes, the ones with extra tummy support because that is what my tubby tummy needs.

bridget

WEEK ONE (this week!) Keeping it simple with two LIFE goals & two work goals.
1) DRINK 6 CUPS OF WATER A DAY
2) WORK OUT 4X THIS WEEK
3) RESET MY OFFICE PHONE WITH THE CORRECT MESSAGE (this sounds easy but involves working with crappy shared campus services and making new passwords and to be honest I hate getting voicemails….please send me an email).
4) FINISHING MY LAST 50 PETITIONS OF SPRING!!! I have no idea when I will get this done but it NEEDS to be done.

Strategies I’ve put in place to ensure success:
1) Signed up for 4 bar method classes
2) Placed water cups all around me, bought some coconut water, drinking water as I type this
3) I read this article for work about getting ish done!!! It had some good tips!

Welcome to June – Getting Back on The Grown-Up Train!!

This is where said blogger inserts inspirational quotes and e-cards on getting your ish together.
grow4

grow2
grow3
grow1

Time to drink some more of my water, do some work, and try to stay motivated for Bar Method tonight. BLARGHH!!!

Send me some suedo Monday motivation on Tuesday! Or at least your best grown up tips!!!

BESOS,
LBG

Couchies and Munchies

FRIDAY, FINALLY!!!! CAN I GET AN AH-LADY!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiBX-ESFDF0

I just felt like a little No Doubt to take me back to my easy breezy high school days. Look at Gwen with those chola eyebrows….tehe…that is why I do my own eyebrows, ladies. Too many times those fabulous waxing ladies gave me those tiny little brows. And I was like NOOO!!!

Speaking of NOOO!!! for all my Wednesday Weigh In folks I faced that bastard the scale this morning.
mindyscale

Yep, that was pretty much my expression. Keep in mind, I’m at a healthy weight. My doctor would say I’m keeping 33 nice and healthy. But she wouldn’t say smoking hot and that’s what I would like for Mexico which is my big girl Christmas. Instead of stockings by the chimney it will be margaritas by the beach. Anyways, ideally if I can knock off these 6.3 lbs by August I will be happy. Now some of you will be – psheeh that’s nothing. Hello…I am barely 5’feet tall which means that’s like you normal sized peoples 15 lbs. One of the many down sides of being miniature. However my tone from running and when I was going to barre is still there so my little shape is better than when I started in January.
healthy

Yes, I would like to look like this at the beach. Love her little flat tummy. My New York beerfest made me a little roly…. This week was kinda a wash except I did bring back veggies and water. I should include her name but I cannot remember it but she was one of the dancers from Dancing With The Stars in the first few seasons. Sheryl something, I think. Is she still on? She’s so cute.

Let’s do some Friday Favorites with Amanda!!!
Friday Favorites

* FRIED SPRING ROLLS…..So delicious…especially when they are a make-up peace offering!!! Pretty much delicious food of any kind is a FAVORITE!!!

* SLEEPING IN!! I am looking forward to some of this!!! Ok, maybe minus the snacking…I am feeling George though!

bed bjonesbed

* BRUNCH W/ MY CHICAS!!
LUNA
I will be enjoying some brunch here manana!!! Can we say hooray for bottomless mimosas until 3pm! Yes, please!

*FUJI APPLES – These are one of my favorite snacks!! So crisp and delicious!!
APPLE

*OLD SEXY AND THE CITY EPISODES – These are just a little pick me up when I need to get ready, fold laundry, etc
sc

sex-the-city2

Alright kiddies, I hope you all have a great weekend. We have a three day weekend over here in the States, holla!!! I am looking forward to my slacker Monday! Let me know what you’ve got planned, any tips to end my slackerdom, or bring back my fitness??? Send help!!

Besos,

lbg

TUESDAY, WHAT?? RUNNING AWAY TO THE BIG APPLE

DISTRACTION IS MY MIDDLE NAME
WordPress, you bastard! You just deleted my entire paragraph on being distracted. Seriously, you bastard! Anyways, basically all I can focus on is NYC or my beach vacay in Zihutanejo which I most likely have misspelled (again) or that I hate wordpress. Sadly, I have a job in real life that requires actual work being accomplished

.jess

REFRESHING THE OLE’ OMBRE
My blonde carmel ombre was getting brassy so I grabbed a box of Garnier Sangria and did a little refresher last night. BAM! Deep reddish ombre and I LOVE IT!!! Now the only problem is I probably need a color deposit shampoo and conditioner that I failed to buy at Target. What’s my problem??? Vacation brain….that’s my problem. The boyfriend was surprisingly impressed that it came out so good. Hey, I dyed my own hair for a long time before I grew up and got fancy. Now I’m just fancy and broke – back to my old bag of tricks. I mean really the strategic bleaching ie the actual hard part was already done. It was basically just paint by number at this point. Thank you Garnier.

I NEED TO TAKE SOME SERIOUS NAMES TODAY
harrison
Please baby Jesus help me get some of the ish work done. I really don’t want to be gone on Wednesday and people are like “What the ‘eff has she been doing???” Loose ends must be tied or at least strategically addressed in a pre-emptive email. So about those TPS reports….

VACATION MODE UNTIL POST NYC & THEN SEXY IS COMING BACK.
I have been trying to bring the red hot sexy back to my almost mid-thirties. That was a goal for this year and there’s still time. I ain’t tripping because my 33 year old ass just ran a half marathon and is about to run another and that is EFFING SEXY!
JT
However I have fallen off that clean eating bandwagon because I am a KNOWN STRESS EATER…510 petitions sure, no prob. I’ll take the Venti Latte – oh wait make it non-fat and one of those sausage sandwiches. My familia is an adorable Mexican Mom and Sister that do not understand clean eating. Mother’s Day was filled of processed suburban food….that I ate and enjoyed until my stomach felt terrible and bloated. BLARGH. I’m gonna just enjoy NYC which means BEER!!! Probably a slice or two of pizza, I mean it’s NYC and life is short. You get the point. But I promise that as soon as I get back – we’re gonna be serious, Interwebbies. I want to be hotter than Zihutanejo!!! I want to be able to have my boyfriend take photos of me in my bikini and not snatch the camera away from him and hit DELETE! I think this clip best exemplifies how I feel, please dear interweb buddies, watch ’till the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8l0Rn24w1s

I want to feel good and look good in my vacay wear!!! So yes, after NYC we will be getting mother effing hard core over here. Looking at the calendar and hitting away those damn baked goods.
BRIDGET
I will stop the above behavior….upon my return.

SWIMSUITS I WANT TO LIVE IN DURING MY MEXICAN ESCAPE!

These beauties are all from Roxy. I actually linked the images for you, chicas. I trust Roxy, the fit is always solid, and I never feel like I’m gonna have a wardrobe malfunction. I do usually just stalk the sale page since they come out with new suits every 2-3 months. I will begin my stalking of this lovelies.
suit3

suit2

suit1
This last one isn’t my usual steez but something about it was calling me. Maybe the whole thing just made me feel like I could be in an early nineties Janet Jackson video and I enjoy that sort of thing. Mexico vacay is a pin board and I expect it will be freakishly large by August but hey the day dreaming is the fun part.

While I’ve enjoyed my coffee and posting with mi peeps, it’s time to go. I’ve got a Santa size checklist and…well that’s about it. Oh and the damn shampoo and conditioner. Color deposit, any good suggestions?

Hope you’re having a lovely Tuesday! Holla any last minute NYC tips, kiddies and hopefully I will see you for the rant tomorrow!

Besos,
lbg

Don’t call it a Comeback!!!! Ok, actually that’s exactly what it is…oh and I’m breaking up w/ Birthday Week

IT'S FRIDAY! LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT ALL THE MISHAPS AND BE 
GRATEFUL FOR SATURDAY!

FRIDAY

Let's make a little list of all the mishaps of Birthday week and ways to improve 
next week, shall we?
 1) WORKING OUT - FAIL
I went to Bar Method on Monday and promptly gave up on all other exercise. 
Unless you count using my right arm to throw back wine, beer, and cocktails. 
I thankfully have my She is Beautiful 10k this Sunday which means I will have 
worked out a whopping two times!!! Seriously, I need to bring the fit back full 
on next week. Sing it to 'em, Justin.

 2) WORK - FAIL
I really really needed to catch up this week and the BIRTHDAY 
EXTRAVAGAZA-ING just held me back. In a plan, to really get back on track,
invest in my professional development, and my job this week was eh?? I did 
however have a very successful meeting with my A.D. on what I hoped to 
achieve for the next year. So not a fail but not a win, either. There's still so 
much I need to do. ARHGHHH!

PAPER

 3) BUDGET - EXTRA FAIL - F-!!!
I have given up on salvaging this month. Meet my friend, visa. She'll be paying for the 
rest of Birthday Month and then I will be in debt to the family and no good can come 
of that. I'm making peace with it because I still have LA GIRLS WEEKEND trip on 
Friday. I'm flying out of SFO fancy terminal 2 and will begin drinking at 7:30am 
and continue through Sunday at 5:00pm. There will be brunching, manicures, 
dancing, and money spending. Next month, bitches.

gd

Alright, enough with the Debbie Downer. Let's set some goals for next week, so I 
can pick my loser ass off the floor and put on the big girl panties....ya know with 
support, coverage, and some serious slimming going on.

bridget

 I will work out at least 4x next week and get back to my Brooklyn Training with
an 8 mile run!!!! I'm really counting on the She is Beautiful 10k this weekend to 
check me and make me realize - eh this ish needs to happen!!! Also I will come to 
work and do a DAILY TO-DO list to really get back on track!!!. Also I'm gonna move 
my short run to Wednesday to prevent my Tuesday run turning into sleep in and just 
do a bar class. This lbg is MAKING A COMEBACK! Also I will make lunches next 
week to save a little cash for LA or just starve. Let's be honest, I've consumed enough 
calories for a small country during Birthday Week....lunch starvation is manageable. 
I believe the yoga and paleo people call it fasting. I call it being cheap. No seriously, 
I will make lunch.
Since this is the end of all this Birthday cray cray...ok, well actually I'm giving myself 
until Sunday. Let's say goodbye to Birthday Week with some MIA... OH but first - 
check out Follow through Friday with these LOVELY LADIES!!

follow-thru-friday-1

 GOODBYE BAD GIRL BIRTHDAY WEEK!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND, PEEPS!
Let me know what shenanigans, you have planned???
besos,
lbg