Reality Bites…..sometimes you just have to keep it real

It seems like I’m only posting on Mondays. That needs to change and I think it will once the cray cray of October ends. All the bebes show up needing advising for Spring enrollments and the oficina overflows with students.

It’s chilly this morning, I’ve got my cup of joe, and was doing some wandering on the internets. My life is slowing down quite a bit and for the first time in a long time I’ve felt like I can breathe and take a look around. My beautiful Grandma’s health started heading down hill in January 2014, all the while my office was short staffed and forced into creating brand new programming, I started spending every other weekend with my Mom & Grandma, and over the next nine months I spent time in the hospital when her health required that until she passed away peacefully in June. I was exhausted after her passing and finished Summer Orientation programming with a small amount of sanity and the expected heartache. I wasn’t sleeping so quickly I turned to running at 4:45am and thinking and praying to my little beloved Grandma. We’re all on the mend but with holidays approaching and lawyer meetings it’s still understandably hardest on my Mom. This Fall teaching my freshman seminar has been a great relief and I feel like it’s brought me back to life. Given me passion again for students, education, and advising.

I’m looking around and realizing I’ll be thirty-four in March and thirty-three was lost to overworking, caring for family, and keeping my sanity only through barre and running. That said I’m fully willing to admit it was not that much sanity left. I don’t want to be overdramatic and say I’m chilling in the ruins of my life. I do feel though that everything I wanted to build this year was just left untouched, like I ran out of money for the contractor and there’s just this frame of a casita on the property.

I feel as though I’m at a professional crossroads. I’m feeling pressure to make more money, take care of bills, so that we can do more traveling in the future. Not to mention, that little dream of having a bebe one day (soonish) and being able to afford said bebe. Granted when I say make more money it’s still just more pennies since I don’t think I want to leave higher education. Not yet anyways. I applied for a mentor program through my University to enhance my network and teaching the course this year will also help my resume…well that’s the hope at least.

I also need to get a handle on the credit cards and my student debt. At this point, I feel like I may need to put my money where my mouth is and just meet with a financial planner. This morning was spent looking at different things on the web and seeing if I could find someone with good reviews in my area. I may still wait until after the holidays for this one but at least I’m doing my research.

Lastly, I need to go to the dentist. I hate the Dentist and this has fallen off and I need to go in as soon as I can. I will probably need to throw down some money in that area because I’ve neglected my poor mouth for the last year and I let life get in the way. No one to blame but myself and the fact that I hate the Dentist. The Doctor’s office and I’m fine….the Dentist is just not my thing. I’m calling in at 8am and just gonna make it happen.

Just sharing my reality check with you all this morning. Trust, it’s much easier to write about brunch, crazy students, and my Fall tv addiction but sometimes you just need to keep it real. I’m sure this plays a small part in why I’ve been M.I.A. from writing over on my tiny corner of the interwebs. Don’t worry, I’ve still been reading all your hilarious bloggies. It keeps me sane and makes me smile. The Internets is an awesome place.

How about you interwebbies? How do you handle life changes? Have you changed your career, grown your career, or just any advice there?

Once again, thanks for kicking it homies.
Besos,
lbg
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Failing At Being A Grown Up and everything else

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Do you ever feel messy? That your life is a series of small fires that are partially burning but not yet under control? At any moment any unexpected wind could turn it all into a wild brush fire that eats away acres of land…..no? Maybe it’s just me struggling in the land of the grown ups.

The weekend ate me alive. Friday – quick drinks with a colleague taking a new job. Run home for 6pm dinner with friends & their adorable 3 year old. Saturday – 6 mile run, grill for my Dad and off to a soccer match ( Father’s Day gift) after I headed to the SJC. Sunday – Prepped for my cousins baby shower hosted by my mama (8 -1). Baby shower 1-7pm equals exhaustion!!!

I miss my Grandma and I’m still feeling the grief. My lovely mama is out of the bell jar but its still hard for her. I hate seeing her in pain it just breaks my heart.

My grief ran away with my credit card and I have been not living within my means…. Sigh…fail in land of the grown ups. This weekend included. I need to get back on track financially and reassess my long term goals. Grown ups need to retire apparently that involves savings and being debt free. I need to look at the damage and post Mexico really start to tackle that shizz. Step one admit the problem.

Work is work. Some parts I love other parts drive me insane on top of the fact I’m undeniably behind.

I guess it’s just one of those days where it feels like I’m failing at everything. I want to turn it all around but I get overwhelmed or tacked by another unexpected wave of disaster. 2014 is just kicking my ass and it sucks.

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I still want to be all sunshine or mostly sunshine but it’s harder than it looks. So for tonight I’m just going to try and count my blessings and know I have a date with a beautiful run and hot coffee in the morning.

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I’m looking forward to the quiet and hoping to find a little grace out there. I’m making mistakes but I’m getting up and trying each day. I pray that counts for something.

Good night besos,
lbg

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