I need a luck dragon….and to get out of this damn bell jar

Do you know you’re in the bell jar or is it only after you’re out that you know you’ve been in???

Where are all my damn Philosophy majors? Probably spending their summer some place dreamy…Damn, kids..I kid..I kid. Well at least about the kids.


Oh Reality Bites, I can’t even look to you for wisdom because I’m now a decade older than your characters. What movie should I be referring to with thirty somethings…I mean I obviously have Bridget Jones 🙂
Well at least this hot mess express woke up and made herself do a nice 3.5 mile run and treated herself to a good ole cup of joe. Work has been very slow which is good because my motivation ended right as I walked in the door. I did try and resuscitate it with another cup of coffee but that too failed. I read two articles on improving your productivity/desk station. I will post them later this week if I find them actually useful. I also saw a job that I’m going to apply for at the University. No expectations just a chance to throw my hat in the ring and possibly increase cash flow if it happens. The work would be different and maybe that’s what this bell jar bebe needs?

I need to fall back into love with the administrative side of my job or at the very least not get caught up in the inefficiency and put in a few LOOOONNNG nights. I need to commit to letting something go so that I can make that happen. Most likely it will be having a clean house, laundry, and dinner with my lovely boyfriend. If I get in at least 3 late nights this week and next, maybe I will be caught up before vacation. I just need a strategy, commit, and put in the hours. Sigh, hours that I am not paid for…BLARGH!

I’m thinking of purchasing this workout dvd despite the current “I’m in the red” financial situation.
First, I need to have a back-up when I can’t get my morning run due to an early morning meeting. Second, if I’m working out in the evening I’d like my boy to be able to enjoy the living room. There’s no tv in our bedroom so I need something that I can download to my ipad. I think I can get this for $10.00 (itunes) which is pretty reasonable and I love Jillian.

Back to the dreaded office, I’d like to have a plan of attack for work so once I return from Mexico I can put on my big girls pants and budget the hell out of the next 6 months.

I’m 33 and I’d like a kid and to retire one day so I need to break up with my retail therapy, lack of budgeting, and general non-financial savviness.


I really want a win…so I can feel like this and possibly turn this ish around. Or at least get me out of the jar.

That’s all I got for tricky Tuesday, my interwebbies. Hope yours is going well. Let me know if you have any budget blogs I should be reading, or any how to be a grown up blogs for that matter.


Hibernation, a meltdown, and trying not to be a failure

Epic fail of having a blow out fight with your boyfriend first thing in the morning. So when the tears come you realize yeah you won’t be leaving the house today. You don’t text him because you need to be alone and figure out all these overwhelming feelings that you’d prefer to drink away or just shake off because that’s the way you grew up.

Two people moving in together in their thirties is so much harder than being young, super poor, moving in. You’re adults with your own opinions, baggage, furniture that you love and may have to give up. It’s just different. Especially if you have a partner that’s lived alone for 7 years – to say its an adjustment is an overstatement.

We’re struggling to find balance and hosting families, traveling for Thanksgiving, my own familia issues have only made them harder. I haven’t made time to run and work right now is anything but easy. It’s just everything is hard. And on top of it this man I do love is very sensitive. He’s made of fine china and I’m all elbows. He fronts about hurt feelings, loses his temper, and yells. I hate yelling and walk away. We need to communicate better but it’s hard. Balance is hard and so is life.

Sometimes you need a break to climb back under the covers. I will get up and start over… Each day is a chance for that and a blessing. It just sucks right now, everything feels so hard, and I feel like I’m failing.

You need to start somewhere and these days I don’t even know where to start.