You can’t handle the truth! Starring Me & Kevin Bacon

Dear Monday,
Why must you never go as planned? Seriously? Why are you so spiteful and wicked? Really, Monday…I mean I know it must suck to not be Friday since she’s the cool one but that’s absolutely no reason for you to be the eff you one. I guess that’s the way it goes though. Sigh, whatever.
We’re over Monday.
-lbg

Despite the set backs of that bastard Monday, I still managed to get in a five and a half mile run!!! Holla. It was a struggle but once I got past those first three miles, I really enjoyed myself.
photo 1

Yesterday, I busted out the spiralizer and attacked some beets and carrots which I roasted. They came out amazing and looked so beautiful on top of some spinach. Yummers!!! Today there will be some running but it might be to Target. We have some guests coming for a BBQ this Saturday so I’m trying to get the casita as cleaned up as possible. Here’s hoping that Friday night isn’t fueled by coffee as we work until the wee hours cleaning our dirty little casita. If the trusty boyfriend can’t take me today then I’ll be hitting the lake to get in another solid 5 miles.
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In other news, I’ve been selected for jury duty. EEK! My posting is already irregular so here’s hoping it won’t get any more wonky. Fingers crossed!! I can’t believe that the Livermore Half is in 24 days!!! I’m really excited and hoping to have a good race. I’m feel like my training is going well and can’t believe that after that it will be time to start my MARATHON training!!!! Seriously, beyond crazy. What am I doing???
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I think I need to get a foam roller since everyone is always recommending you foam roll after you run. It sounds terrible but healthy for you. I have no idea since I’ve never done but I see some skillful runners doing it so can’t hurt to try. Why are foam rollers so damn expensive?? It’s foam like a pool noodle, right? Crazyness. I will have to check groupon for some deals. Foam rolling, interwebbies, thoughts?? I’m ready to hear any tips, tricks, or good deals you may have. Oh, maybe I will look at Target tonight!!!
Carlton

Let’s get this humpty hump insanity over with peeps!!!! But on that note, due to jury duty I had to get my amazing colleagues to cover a million things and I sent this little movie music to inspire their booties to be my hero. Hope you enjoy it!!!

Besos,
lbg
PS Nobody says no to Kevin Bacon!!!

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BAY AREA & LA LOVE CANNOT CONQUER ALL ON THE HUMPTY HUMP WED

HUMPING AROUND ON THE LAST WEDNESDAY IN OCTOBER

Kathy killed the hump so rest in peace, mofo. Sometimes you gotta just start fresh and while I will miss the Wednesday Confessions Hump, I’m sure Kathy is destined for greater things. Perhaps, just a weekly Wednesday update on all the ass she kicked. I have no idea but I wanted to give the Confessions a little shout out. I owe it at least that much….she pours some Negro Modelo onto the ground for her departed homie.

pharrell

Thank you for all the kind words after my last sad bastard post. Sometimes you just gotta let the emotions pour and keep it real on the interwebbs. My emotions are now properly blocked up for the time being as I focus on personal growth…yada…yada…ya.

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I called the damn Dentist and will be seeing his horrifying face on Monday. Seriously, pray for me. I hate that guy. In all honesty, I’m sure Dr. FXXXXo is a lovely man with a wife and children and concerned about their college funds….OR he’s partying it up at the disco with a wonderful partner and a pug…It’s San Francisco one never knows. The point is he is probably a wonderful person in real life but I still fear and hate him all at the same time.

jesscrying

 

I also emailed and set up an informational interview with a possible mentor. Holla. This chica has to be able to grow her career. I can’t fear the unknown that I’m jumping into a sinking ship but I can be diligent and do some research. I don’t need to LOVE my job although that would be hella hella dope (yes, I’m from the 90’s). I need to really figure out exactly what I want but I think its a job that gives me balance in my life and some flexibility for ish. The quest continues….

santana

Last night was a rough one for the relationship. The Boyfriend being from LA and what not basically bleeds purple and gold (Lakers). I, on the other hand, bleed like a regular person but root for the SF Giants. My Dad is a Giants fan and his Dad was a Giants fan so there you have it. Back to last night, GAME SIX of the World Series and at 7:30 Lakers opening game. Of course, we had to switch back and forth for a bit because we only have one tv. This shocked and appalled my mother but hey we don’t want two tvs. We try to actually do other things besides tv watching. I digress, it was rough. No one was completely satsified especially since the Giants can NEVER just win!! Everything must be Giants torture baseball!!! If you’re from the Bay Area, you know that is a thing and that is what we call it. Torture Baseball. So tonight we go into Game 7 and pray the SF Giants will win this one!!! I will need to eat my Three Twins Sergio Romo Mexican Chocolate Ice Cream to celebrate!!! Oh Sergio Romo is a Giants pitcher and he’s a really great human being.

mindy

 

Alright, my lovelies. I need to pound this coffee and jump in the shower. I have a meeting this morning that is certain to make me die slowly in my chair.

Besos,
lbg

HUMP, HUMP, IT’S ALL ABOUT THE HUMP…

It’s all about the Hump, Hump, Hump, Hump Day, no Monday….It’s all about the Hump, Hump, Hump, Hump Day, no Monday….(sang to the tune of Megan Trainor’s all about that bass)

Yes, it’s time for the glorious WEDNESDAY HUMPTY HUMP CONFESSIONS with Kathy from Vodka and Soda. Let’s throw back some coffee and get in the mood for ranting, loving, and confessing like the bad little Mexican non-practing Catholic that I am.

Vodka and Soda

1) TWO FACING FOR WORK SUCCESS.
I may not like you but if I have to work with you we need to be cordial. I will still occasionally smile and ask you about your weekend. Why, you may ask. It’s because that’s how civil bitches get things done. Sure…sure, I may try and leave meetings early that you’re heading or not sign up for anything that involves you but I will be discrete. We’re ambassadors of our own tiny nations and while I may think you are cray to the zee – we’ve got to keep our trade and economic dependency fluid. That is all…oh you’re running the birthday committee thats great. Sorry, I’ve got a time conflict.

2)WINNING FREE KICKS!
Skinny Chick blog has free kicks give away so if you’re a runner like me you should sign up!! Or send me good energy so I win some shoes!!! Or maybe you’ll win and I’ll be like holla I know that kid.

3)EVERY INCH OF YOU IS BEAUTIFUL OR GETTING READY JAMS.
Dude, cannot lie I love love love Megan Trainor’s jam. I need to play it once a day and get my work chair dance on. It’s so much fun. Thank you Jimmy Fallon for keeping me in the young people loop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc9MzCcmNCU

4)MURDER WAS THE CASE THAT THEY GAVE ME.
My lady time is out of control….I swear I should be allowed to come into work wearing sweatpants, wiping the chocolate off my face, and able to nap as needed. Ugh, yesterday was a situation, I hate having to run into the bathroom after a student meeting worried that my lady products have failed me and that there is leakage…C’mon you’re supposed to be weaved or woven to prevent this ish!!! Why, why!!! Stuff more peanut m&ms into mouth.

5)TV! BECAUSE I CAN!
AMERICAN HORROR STORY – Sooo ready for this show to come back! Also the circus freak show theme – eek! Scary! Honorable mentions: Mindy Project ( you all know about my Mindy lurve), M is for Murder (Oh, Shonda – let’s see your new bebe). Car Accidents I cannot stop: Grey’s Anatomy (it’s my own personal drug habit).
mindydrinking

Alright my interweb loves that’s all I got for the Hump. I’m off to write student emails, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yah, you’re graduating! Or just kidding…no, seriously.

Besos,
lbg

Chasing lbg and other late HUMPTY HUMP Confessions

I’m Late! Late to the Hump!!!

For a very important Humpty Hump Confessions.

Through the rabbit hole we go!!!
alice

Anyways, if Kathy will still let my late ass jump on the HUMP!

I’m here and ready with my pre-vacation confessions for your sexy rexy asses!

Vodka and Soda

1. PRE-ARRIVAL COSTS OF VACATION
You always forget about the pre-vacay activities that cost you $$$ Like the gel manicure my office mate talked me into but not gonna lie these toes still required a pedi for a beach vacay. Tiny bottles of things that are 4oz and carry on available because whenever I put my own ish in bottles it explodes and makes me an angry little brown girl and you do not want to see that.
Santana

2. I LIKE BIG BOOKS AND I CANNOT LIE
One of the best things about a BEACH VACAY is the reading!!! You get to lounge about and read and flip over and jump in the ocean, jump in the hotel pool, all while just reading!!! I love this. I will be bringing these bad boys with me and am super duper excited!
amer

lev

3. SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE!
After vacation this chica needs to get back to her early morning run schedule and in bed by 10pm. The sheer amount of work this week and vacay prep has lead me to give up on working out this week. In some ways it’s been good since I think I hurt the arch of my right foot. Sad face. So a week of and a little vacay hopefully I will come back and feel much better.

4.MEETINGS THAT WILL NOT DIE
Yesterday my meeting made me want to lose my God Damn mind! Anyone else every have work meetings like that? I needed to text the bestie that it was about to be a murderball situation soon. She text distracted me so I did not go all Chasing Amy on the situation (see minute 2:30). Yes, Welcome to the 90’s it’s where I live. PS Favorite Ben movie…ok wait… tie w/ Good Will Hunting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHLJfxfXHBg

5.ROBIN WILLIAMS.
This was so very sad. Depression is a serious condition and I hope people are willing to seek help and know they have support. We were all talking about this loss the other day and my colleague mentioned Dead Poets Society so of course, I jumped on top of the nearest chair and “Oh Captain, my captain” and she hella laughed. Thanks for all the laughter, Robin. PS I did it before Jimmy Fallon!! Just another reason me and Jimmy would be buddies in real life.

6. DAY DREAMING ABOUT…..
This view….tomorrow…and yes, I will be having a margarita for my Interwebbie homies! This one’s for you.
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Living the dream like Tom Cruise when he meets Elizabeth Shue in Cocktails.
COCKTAIL

7. TODAY WILL BE A SUCCESS
If I don’t punch anyone in the face and make my flight on time.

I’m setting the bar low because I am exhausted and ready to run the eff away. Woot woo!!!

Have a lovely Thursday, Peeps! I leave you with another 90’s classic

Besos,
lbg

HUMPING ALONG WITH MY DISHWASHER AND OTHER OLD LADY FANTASIES

It’s Wednesday and I’m praying for more coffee. My little eyes are so tired after a night of restless sleep. I skipped the run since my body needed a few extra zzz’s and hope to either get a walk or run in tonight. Keeping hope alive! Anyways, let’s get right (yawn) to the Wednesday Hump, shall we? At least before I put my drowsy head down on this desk.

Vodka and Soda

Let’s get this confessing on the road!!!
carrie

BOOZE.
Dear Booze,
Don’t get it twisted. I adore you. You’re some good times and did I mention delicious? Yes, you are all of those things and more but you manage to turn me into a munchinator with no bounds. We share a drink or two and all of a sudden I’m eating an entire plate of goat cheese poppers. This is an issue. We need to only kick it occasionally because I also love my pants. I love my pants even more when they fit and you with your munchiness if effing that up. We good? Awesome…let’s keep our sessions to a once a week (preferably on the weekends).
Love,
lbg

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RUNNING SHOES.
My running shoes are dust and I’m having a hard time accepting it. However they’re starting to hurt my feet and eff me up. Sigh, I don’t want to shell out a $100 or so to replace those bad boys. I want to spend money on bras or booze…or both! I’m running 4-5x a week so I need to make this happen…god damn.

CRAZY STUDENTS.
I hate dealing with crazy ass students at the end of the day. Especially when you are not my student….go be crazy in Engineering or Chemistry. You and your cray to the zee belong to them!!!! I’ve got my own crazies to take care of. Sheesh.
meangirls

SLOW PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN.
I MISSED MY TRAIN BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR DAMN DOG WALKED AND WOULD NOT GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO CATCH THE TRAIN, PLEASE MOVE!!! WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND??? IT BLOWS MY MIND!!! Sigh….late to a meeting. Blame that slow lady and her dog. She didn’t appear to have an impairment which would require a service dog. Although some disabilities are unseen, so respect. However service dogs usually wear an outfit right? You know that little material vest over their midsection. Whatever…hopefully they covered nothing important.

I’M ALREADY THINKING OF DINNER.
That’s it. I just want to be home eating something delicious in my sweat pants. Is that so wrong?

MARATHONSWEETHEART

LAUNDRY.
I need to wash and pack for my trip this weekend and it seems like I am always in a never ending battle with laundry. One thing I HATE about apartment living…not having my own washer and dryer. That would be a dream!!! I mean I straight up love my dishwasher…I don’t think I could ever go back. Seriously….never going back.

MOVING.
Small tiny chance we may move. Its kinda exciting. That’s all I will say. Don’t want to jinx it. It’s super fun to dream it up with your partner.

Alright my interwebbies. That’s all I got for you on the Hump. Make it happen!
Besos,
lbg
HUMP

TARDY SLIP TO THE HUMP AND OTHER FANTASTIC VOYAGES

LATE TO THE MOTHER ‘EFING HUMP!
It’s Thursday but seriously did not have a minute to spare for the Hump. I was covered in work yesterday. I also opted to do a three mile walk with my homegirl post-work and watch a little Supernatural.
dean

However I love me some Kathy & her HUMPTASTIC CONFESSIONS so even if I’m a day late and a dollar short we’re making it happen. That’s just the way I roll, beatches.

Vodka and Soda

1. I HAVE BEEN EATING BADLY THIS WEEK. However I love me some Mexican, Margaritas, and Chocolate Ice Cream. No regrets, beatches. Or as the young bebes say YOLO! They may actually no longer be saying this because all us old ladies are but whateves.

I always think of M.I.A. and this jam when I say YOLO! It’s on several of the running mixes. I once saw M.I.A. at the Concourse in SF and she was hella drunk. She did three songs and was practically carried off stage. I was hella pissed since the tickets were like $40 or $50 bucks. After that we kinda broke up. I did hear that she was amazing when she was a Coachella several years back but I hold my grudge and will not pay money to see her drunk ass again. TRUE STORY
mindy

2. I just saw the San Jose Rock N Roll medals and am nerdily excited to sport that obnoxious beast of a medal. Woot woot! Half Baby!!!
medals

3. Even though Mexico is not gonna be the vacay we planned, I am so ready to get out of my office and just chill for a week. I’m like you cannot get here soon enough…..well maybe not too soon since I still have MAD WORK to accomplish but you dig.

4. I confess that I wanted to smack our IT dude since he is worthless. I’m like this is NOT A PROJECTION! This is shizz we need our new system to do!!! Also FYI the staff that was like we don’t want to touch our computers ALL RETIRED! I want to be able to run my own reports and not come knocking at your door for access. If you want job security just do this ish!!!
OH YEA

5. I have plans all weekend long and I really just wish I could stay in bed and DO NOTHING!!! Friends visiting, soccer game with my old man, and baby shower. It’s like EEK!!! Where did all these plans come from and will I be able to get enough sleep and still run 6 miles???? Why must I be social??? Hashtag Old Lady Problems.
carrie

6. I confess that I’m feeling more normal after all the funeral stuff. I still have mini crying moments but much better. I also had a MAJOR cry-fest as I watched Anderson Cooper cover the Netherlands bringing home the bodies of those lost in the Malaysian flight crash. The did profiles of many of the passengers and there were so many kids. It just made my little heart break. People are so amazing and our ability to preserve after tragedies like that is nothing short of astonishing. Ok, enough of my sad bastardness but it’s confessions…I’m keeping it real.

7. Finally, I confess that I ate a breakfast burrito this morning and it was HELLA delish….I need to pull it together for GET SEXY MEXICO because I am carrying around a burrito bebe.
liz

Alright, kids. Hope you are doing your thing this week, spending time with the people you love, and not being chained to the man. PS Me and my office mate just rocked out to Fantastic Voyage by Coolio….out of control.

Besitos,
lbg

Bobby & Whitney Forever

IT’S TIME FOR THE HUMP!!!TAKE US HOME, BOBBY!!!


Nothing to make you feel like it’s gonna be a bomba Wednesday like a little old Bobby Brown topped off with Confessions! Holla for the Vodka & Soda crew..ok link-up but didn’t that sound so much better?

Vodka and Soda

Let’s bust a move and check out my confessions for this week. Go ahead continue your own personal humping around dance party while enjoying these ones.

1. College Adviser confession. I hate AP (Advanced Placement) credit. Students think it’s gold and really it just prepares you to not fall on your ass. Seriously, you still need to take most courses and SHOCKER medical schools don’t take it! C’mon, people! I swear the frosh are like freakin’ little Rumplestitskins with their AP credit. Then they lose their goddamn minds when I have to say Nope, sorry, we don’t take it. Or they cry. I mean I’ll still throw some general education units your way but you need to take calculus. Here’s a tissue.

2. I bought some aveda shampoo (travel size) for my trip and now I am addicted. That ish is soooo wonderful but I think the large size was like $30.00. I don’t want to look it up since I am considering shelling out the cash. God damn, why can’t advising crazy freshman be more profitable!!!

cristina

3. Angela Bassett will be directing a Lifetime movie about Whitney and Bobby’s relationship and I’m not ashamed to full on admit I will be watching it and am soooo looking forward to it! Do you have a favorite Whitney. I loved when she rocked the giant 80’s early 90’s side bow. Since my blog cannot highlight any current music, here’s my favorite Whitney jam. PS Doesn’t it seem perfect that it’s going to be a Lifetime movie?? Or is that just me?


4. I’m watching HBO’s Carnivale and it is beyond creepy but also super intriguing. Plus the little man from Twin Peaks is in it!!! Ultimate crazy! However he is not speaking backwards in spooky gibberish.
twinpeaks

5. This feels like the oldest lady confessions ever. I have played a Bobby & Whitney jam and just referenced Twin Peaks. The frosh are gonna walk all over me next week. I just might as well get a cane and be ready to shake a tea cup at them. A tea spiked with a little something something of course but that’s beside the point. I kid! I would never drink on the job only after the job 😉

6. Coconut water is delicous and I really want to buy a case online…ya know since I’m trying to drink water and this is getting closer.

Well this old lady has to tackle her day but I hope you all have a kick ass hump day!!!! Keep me posted on all your hump shenangins and everything else.

Besos,
lbg