Monday means we’re broke.

Mixed bag so far….

I had morning issues (lost keys and bad public transit) so I ate a croissant (- 5 points).

I didn’t make my lunch because I could not for the life of me fall asleep (why????) which meant I’m sacrificing my one free lunch right on Monday (damn). I bought salad with chicken, no drink or snacks (winning + 5 points).

Worked on my budget and became absolutely depressed but still worked on it and paid a few bills during lunch (depression 5 points – winning in the long run but poor broke tears in the short game)


I will pay the rest later tonight/tomorrow. Also need to cancel fitfusion since I just don’t workout at home…my couch is far too appealing.

Considered getting a part-time job…no points since only consideration. I have too many things pending though so it’s best just to wait…pending as in terms of my living situation. The boyfriend and I are getting along…like the BEST EVER…which is amazing but also we’ve been discussing “THE FUTURE” (ominous yet exciting) and it’s unclear if our paths are really meshing. Also depressing…because things in the moment are wonderful….However it’s our thirties not our twenties and having mix match futures is really just a set-up for heartbreak, failure, and hating one another. At this point in my life I would rather have a sad but amicable grown up break up than anything…I mean, ideally we will figure out said futures and continue along in lurve but I really don’t know. BLARGH.


Instead of wine, I will drink water (double points because water and I’m at work +10).






And so it begins….mid thirties

There’s a lot of change in the wind and I’m trying to hold on for the ride. I’m having some bumps with this new whole fiscal responsible thing but I’m really proud of myself so far. I’m trying to see where I’m spending, how, and when I eff up take it with stride and say “Ok, self…why did this happen and how do I get back on track?” It’s new and hard but I’m committed to making it happen.

My relationship is having some growing pains. There’s so much love but we’re trying to figure out where we both want to be in our next phase of life and if that’s the same…It’s really fucking hard. It’s crazy mature but it also sucks to really love someone and be uncertain that you’re on the same page. We’re trying to figure it out and keep the dialogue open and honest. So you have that…..

I’ve been in the process of applying for a position, and then I got an interview, and then I was a finalist. Now, I’m waiting to see what happens….I really do want it and am keeping my fingers crossed. Trying to trust that the universe has a plan for me and if it’s meant to happen it will happen. I do feel that my interviews were very strong and have little that I regret in terms of preparation or responses….so now I just have to wait….that’s hard.


Fitness has really been the last priority….I’m averaging like once a week if that…. 35 is supposed to be about finances and fitness so I need to really pull that part together. With interviewing, I didn’t have time to meal prep and was buying my lunch like a fool. This week, I’m back on it and prepared 5 healthy lunches. Tonight, I’m going to work out at home which is why I’m blogging (ACCOUNTABILITY). I need to get some fit in and hopefully it will help clear my head so I don’t dive head first into a pint of ice cream….which is better than alcohol.

Oh yea…I already did that on my actual birthday and it may have ended with me puking and drunk crying about being old….I was straight out of a movie…a sadder less glamorous Bridget Jones movie.


Anyways, that’s what’s going on in these parts, Interwebbies…Hopefully there will be more to report soon. News that’s funny and hilarious and involves me working out. But for today is just Old Lady News about trying to keep it together and navigate my mid-thirties like a grown person….and not a Grey’s Anatomy character.





It will all work out…

The rush of hormones and resulting emotions during your period make you extra human. All that extra, for me at least, makes me feel everything intensely and sometimes painfully. That I’m struggling, that no says your thirties are really hard, that I miss my Grandma at the most unexpected moments, and sometimes you cry.

I hate the feeling of being lost or failing….it’s not easy, its hard but these feelings are important. There’s a lesson in them, in where they came from. Unlike happiness though, you often can’t know in a moment. You need time to process and give you a more objective view. When you’re 13 you feel like when will time start? When will things start to happen and then 17, 18 and times are finally happening…20’s seems like so much is possible…by 26 I kinda felt like a real person….and now 35 is a month and a day away and I’m not sure what I want. I mean besides being a real grown-up.

Love. Maybe?

Today is a day for tears and extra human. I’ll run and hide in a book later, far away to Paris, or a desert, or the past to let those dreams wash over me. Friday will be a fresh day to take a step back and breathe, the weekend will provide reflection, and I’ll let myself move forward. Slowly.

I know really no one knows what they’re doing….we just all somehow manage. Today though it feels like I’m lost and that my best is miserable. These things sometimes happen so I will lay here for a minute and get back up again.


Ranty, Ragey, & Pumpkin-y Monday

It’s a sunny Monday in October and thankfully I don’t have to be in the office until later this afternoon. I promise a race recap of the San Jose Rock-N-Roll Half is in the works. This was a wonderful race experience for me despite the unseasonably warm weather and my under training. My legs are pretty achy today and I pushed myself a little too hard to beat the heat. Don’t get it twisted, I am still SO HAPPY I signed up for this race and nostalgia washed over me as I ran through many familiar spaces. Shout out to the Tide House that was handing out free beer to the runners. Like I said a proper review will be forthcoming, Interwebbies.

I declared breakfast my last meal of not caring before I jump back on the get fit Fall bandwagon. I treated myself to a glorious non-fat pumpkin spice latte and headed over to a local bakery for a yummy pumpkin cranberry muffin. A good blogger would of taken a photo but I am a bad blogger. Sorry (as I wipe pumpkin crumbs off my face.)
The chemistry between me and the boy is off today. His back is hurting and I’m a little slow from the half. Not a great combination but I’m not sure how to get him to go to the Doctor to see what’s going on…we may just need a new mattress but our pocketbooks are pretty tight. However we need to figure it out if that’s what he needs. Sigh, boys why are they so dumb!

Not gonna lie I’m feeling a little rage filled and ranty this morning. Perhaps it’s that lovely tidal wave of emotion that arrives with my flood of hormones prior to my lady times. Damn being a lady! I suppose it’s for the best that I’m saving the world from my wrath by hiding out here for a while. The world can thank me later.

Despite my wrath filled rage, Oakland was beautiful and I enjoyed getting a little morning walk in and gorging myself on pumpkin flavored delights. It’s time to get back to business and recommit my morning work-outs. I may even get a Groupon for the gym that’s down the street from me and give that a spin. Also I ate lunch out everyday last week which is FAR FAR FAR from ideal when you work on a college campus filled with greasy college kid food. I need to get bring healthy back to my lunch escapades preferably by bringing my lunch but at this point healthy is all I’m asking of myself.

I honestly cannot believe it’s already October. This year has been a long and rough one…I’m hoping 2015 brings a lot more joy and much less stress for me. I would like to be more peaceful, calm, and balanced. Sometimes I feel like my life is just a damn teeter totter, all ups and downs. I know that no one has it all together but aren’t you supposed to feel like it’s mostly together in your thirties? I hit the BIG 3-4 this March and I’m dreading it. My dread is probably mostly based in the fact that I feel like my life is slightly directionless but I’m not sure what next or where to change things up. Thank god for running. That shizz is seriously keeping me sane. I may not know what the eff I’m doing but at least I can put my feet to the pavement and run 13.1 miles in a single shot.

I guess I’m saying October take it easy on me. We’re heading into the first holiday season without my dear little Grandma which I expect will be nothing short of a soft melancholy falling upon the entire familia. 2014 was characterized by me being completely burnt out by my job and refusing to work additional hours beyond 8-5. My Grandma began declining in January and passing away in June. During this time period, I spent many weekends in San Jose doing my best to care for my mother who was my Grandma’s primary care taker. We structured & ran a brand new orientation from May – late June where I fell even further behind in work. I mean I still traveled to NYC for the Brooklyn half and went to Mexico for an amazing vacay. I tried bar method for several months which was an amazing experience so like I said a lot of good. However it just felt like a hard and overwhelming year.

So October be gentle and help me not throw myself off a bridge.

Alright Interwebbies, enough of this sad bastardness. It’s time to shower, clean up, and hit up the Whole Foodie for my HEALTHY LUNCH! That’s right starting on the Fall Fit bandwagon.


I need a luck dragon….and to get out of this damn bell jar

Do you know you’re in the bell jar or is it only after you’re out that you know you’ve been in???

Where are all my damn Philosophy majors? Probably spending their summer some place dreamy…Damn, kids..I kid..I kid. Well at least about the kids.


Oh Reality Bites, I can’t even look to you for wisdom because I’m now a decade older than your characters. What movie should I be referring to with thirty somethings…I mean I obviously have Bridget Jones 🙂
Well at least this hot mess express woke up and made herself do a nice 3.5 mile run and treated herself to a good ole cup of joe. Work has been very slow which is good because my motivation ended right as I walked in the door. I did try and resuscitate it with another cup of coffee but that too failed. I read two articles on improving your productivity/desk station. I will post them later this week if I find them actually useful. I also saw a job that I’m going to apply for at the University. No expectations just a chance to throw my hat in the ring and possibly increase cash flow if it happens. The work would be different and maybe that’s what this bell jar bebe needs?

I need to fall back into love with the administrative side of my job or at the very least not get caught up in the inefficiency and put in a few LOOOONNNG nights. I need to commit to letting something go so that I can make that happen. Most likely it will be having a clean house, laundry, and dinner with my lovely boyfriend. If I get in at least 3 late nights this week and next, maybe I will be caught up before vacation. I just need a strategy, commit, and put in the hours. Sigh, hours that I am not paid for…BLARGH!

I’m thinking of purchasing this workout dvd despite the current “I’m in the red” financial situation.
First, I need to have a back-up when I can’t get my morning run due to an early morning meeting. Second, if I’m working out in the evening I’d like my boy to be able to enjoy the living room. There’s no tv in our bedroom so I need something that I can download to my ipad. I think I can get this for $10.00 (itunes) which is pretty reasonable and I love Jillian.

Back to the dreaded office, I’d like to have a plan of attack for work so once I return from Mexico I can put on my big girls pants and budget the hell out of the next 6 months.

I’m 33 and I’d like a kid and to retire one day so I need to break up with my retail therapy, lack of budgeting, and general non-financial savviness.


I really want a win…so I can feel like this and possibly turn this ish around. Or at least get me out of the jar.

That’s all I got for tricky Tuesday, my interwebbies. Hope yours is going well. Let me know if you have any budget blogs I should be reading, or any how to be a grown up blogs for that matter.

Losing my mind…confessions from orientation

A tale by the lbg

It’s crazy over here….so much work…so little fun. I am surrounded by paperwork and eager freshman. Most of whom are truly adorable and willing to listen. They are like new little puppies.
Puppies that want to major in Biology, Computer Science, and Media Studies.

I feel like I haven’t got to post at all this week because of these new little pups – BLARGH!!! I missed Kathy’s Confessions on the Hump! I had dismissal review so instead of posting I was busy making recommendations for those students who need to have a little reality check and take some time away from the University.

Yo, you can’t get two semesters of F’s and still expect to kick it.

Love, Me

But I love the Humpty Confessions so here I am with my hella late post. You can mark me down a grade. I understand.

Vodka and Soda

1. Students that have bad schedules. This is my job. I am a professional adviser. I give advice and I am good at it….what’s not to understand. Luckily, I only had one or two student schedules that caused me to look like this. Most of my frosh listen but if you don’t, trust I make note.


2. Working late and eating out have made this a really unsexy week. So Sunday I need to prepare this ish out of it if I’m at all gonna be successful. Orientation is a beast that makes me gain some weight which is so unfortunate because it’s SUMMER!!! You cannot solve a College’s problems with coffee, baked goods, and pizza but sometimes it feels that way.


3. It’s 2014 and 90% of the petitions, etc is done with paper. This makes me so angry. It’s not 1965 or even 1999 (when I was in College) there is NO REASON FOR SO MUCH PAPER! Plus, guess what???? Paper gets lost and then I get in trouble. I’M SORRY IT’S PAPER I FORGOT TO MAKE A COPY AND I PUT THE ORIGINAL IN CAMPUS MAIL. Campus mail which is basically linked to eff’ing Hogwarts Room of Requirement. I have no idea where shizz ends up. IT’S 2014!! UNIVERSITY GET IT TOGETHER!! Or give me 1000 bucks so I can just make a Computer Science major do this! It’s not that hard to put shit online. End Rant.


4. I fantasize about three day weekends where I can sleep in, clean my house, get all my laundry done, and work out. I’m so effing old. Seriously though having a kick ass apartment I love and being able to order delicious take out with my boyfriend is one of my most favorite things. Being an old lady works for me. Most of the time…except when I want to eat an entire pizza because in your thirties that gives you a food baby. In my twenties, I’d have a beer, put on a bikini, and head out. You 20 something bastards! Enjoy it thought because I did, holla.


5. I ate vanilla granola with greek yogurt in bed last night and watched Carnival on HBO GO. I’m not ashamed. I’m hella hella tired and I feel like that it a better dessert than chocolate cake.


6. I signed up for two races that are not in my budget but I needed a pick me up and it was National Running Day. Poor financial choices. SUCK IT MONEY!!! Plus I needed the motivation and I am realizing Mon/Wed Bar is unsustainable since Orientation has me getting home between 6-7pm on those days. Well, maybe just Mondays….Wednesday might get better but I have gone to zero bar classes this week!!! SAD FACE!

Thanks for listening to my crazy. Anyone that’s still out there….following this hot mess of a blog. I heart you, interwebbies. This one’s for you.


RED WINE IN THE EAST BAY followed by our sponsors running and myfitnesspal


The Birthday Work day has included lots and lots of coffee and flowers! I'm a lucky lil' 
brown girl what can I say. Tonight we're gonna have some seriously yummy spaghetti 
and garlic bread. One of my unhealthy faves! Topped with at least two glasses of red. 
I love it!!!
Let's talk about the weightloss and my journey to lose this last 10! OR NOT! 
Plus link up lurve for Weigh In Wednesday!!! Check out all the awesome chicas!
Pretty Strong Medicine
 GAINED. +0.2 lbs. Actually I can really dig this. Given all the birthday 
shenanigans, I fully expected a pound so this was a sweet birthday surprise. I can 
only thank my long runs for enabling me to continue to cheat here and there...
thank you Brooklyn Half training.
Seriously though, next week we're getting back on track. More kale and spinach 
and maybe some water drinking to rival all water drinking. You can only do so 
much celebrating as an old lady. We pass out earlier and I'm not dancing for hours 
on the dance floor in four inch heels which was the cardio of my twenties. Not I say 
this is my jam and instead of running out to the dance floor, I convince myself 
I can push through another mile. Oh well....there are worse things I suppose. 
I love my old lady ballet flats.
Ok, now after all my promises of health and fitness that I may or may not keep....


I woke up and was like DAMN 33....That's kinda a bummer. But my hair at least came
 out really good and my vanilla latte made me feel happy. Also NSV I squeezed into a 
dress I haven't worn in a minute! Awesome and the boy assured me it was still work 
appropriate. Ya know, I didn't want to be all sausagey...But I'm a Mexican and my 
people love them some tight dresses. You always have that one Auntie that's like 
if you can squeeze into it by any means necessary it fits, mija. I however need to
 check myself because there's no need to look so rough, mujers. Lesson learned.
I need to save some pennies for LA CHICAS WEEKEND. I am really just throwing 
the dollar bills around like I'm Puffy, Jay Z, or insert your favorite rapper here. 
People love the Drake so maybe him. Anyways, I need to reign myself in!!!! 
But it's so easy to say BIRTHDAY MONTH! Or I'm old, I deserve this 
(insert my sad face).
Ugh, the other thing about old lady birthdays is you feel the need to look 
back and say what the hell am I doing???? BLARGH!
Carrie had some points but she also made some really god awful choices. However 
I can dig the above. At the very least, you could be like thank baby Jesus I did not
 do that!!! Or you were like, me too!!!! I'm also a big hot mess just less glamorous. 
People seem to be enjoying "GIRLS" on HBO but I don't's like they're
 hipsters in NYC having unsexy sex and I just can't get into the twenty minutes I saw. 
UNIMPRESSED. Maybe it's because I'm old. I will go back to Grey's with sexy doctors 
having implied sex in on call rooms and supply's wonderful.
Anyways, have some fun on my birthday, Interwebbies! And if you have 
any old lady advice for my thirties situation, please share!!!! Lord knows I need it!