I ordered a salad

I managed to eat and snack like a healthy person today. Despite being out and about, I ordered a baby kale salad!!! VICTORY! Of course, I snacked (as I tend to do on Sundays) but instead of delicious crap, I ate plantain chips and dried mango. I had half a health bar for breakfast with no added sugar and one of those wacky ingredient labels. You know where it lists the 5 items in the bar. Shocking, I know.

I did a super sad bastard run on Saturday. My entire body hurt and it was a confirmation that I have been failing on the fitness/food/and general life front. However I’m back and have a whole take no prisoners attitude so soon I will be fit, sexy, and one of the “after” people.

I need to wake up early and make my lunch because it is not happening tonight. So that’s all kids.

Besos,

lbg

Stop spending money you don’t have and other grown up mistakes

I WILL NOT

• Stress shop
• Spend more than I earn
• Say yes to dinners, parties, and events I cannot afford
• Buy lunch more than once a week (baby steps)
• Be chronically late and take an uber to work
• Binge on cookies, cupcakes, or other sugar disasters provided in the office

I WILL

• Budget every month
• Review all credit cards and stop spending!
• Workout three times a week
• Make my lunch
• Eat more healthy snacks
• Drink water
• Clean room and closet on a far more regular basis
• Donate clothes I do not wear
• Write three times a week as stress relief/reflective practice

I just ordered a pizza on my credit card and ate the last of some Talenti gelato because perspective. However some Bridget Jones style life goaling was in order. July, you have fucked me over but I will not be defeated. I will take my broke ass and get focused!!!! I will get back on the hamster wheel of grown-upness and make it happen.

Tomorrow I will get on the scale, cry, get off the scale, and work out. I will buy vegetables for consumption from the farmer’s market or Trader Joe’s. I will not spend money on beautiful, expensive, organic food from Whole Foods…money that I do not have. Oh and I will buy dish soap because I should also wash dishes.

I requested off two days from work to clean out my closet and get rid of crap. I’m going to actually finish that damn Marie Kondo book.

Step 1) Bridget Jones type journaling.

Step 2) Read Marie Kondo book. Clearly reading self help type book = grown up.

Step 3) Start working out over the next week in lead up to “4 day staycation aka grown-up retreat.”

Step 4) Read Whole30 to prepare for paleo type eating in mid-August/September.

Ok, so I took off 8/8 & 8/9 on a whim based on a workshop I was at on Thursday. Let me back up, Thursday the University held a professional development conference for staff. I selected a couple of workshops primarily on balance, mindfulness, and putting your vision into action. Cheesy, I know. There was still some solid shizz discussed though and I walked away with some useful tips. One such tip was take vacation! JUST DO IT! Even if you’re broke and can’t go anywhere. So I’m having my own grown-up little staycation and going to focus on some me stuff that I want to fuckin’ tackle.

BROKE GIRL STAYCATION

1. Workout every day (maybe even twice a day). I’m going to take a Hipline class, barre method, and do some running.
2. Wash all my clothes.
3. Donate everything I don’t wear.
4. Organize closet.
5. Read everyday.
6. Drink smoothies.
7. Eat healthy lunch salad.
8. No tv (unless on in background while closet working ie Gilmore Girls on Netflix)
9. Listen to music and podcasts only.
10. Do some mindful/reflective zen shizz about what I want, what makes me happy, and ways to improve life.

That was some solid work, peeps. I’m drinking water not booze and going to watch some Great British Baking and call it a night.

Besos,

lbg

 

 

Yoga & lemon water will never be as good as wine

Hey Interwebbies,

My life got crazy as eff this Spring and of course when that happens I turn to booze, food, more booze, with some late night snacking. As a 35 year old goddess of a woman, my body behaves accordingly and gains all the weight. Yeah, those 20 year old days of dancing all night, drunkenly eating an entire pizza (alone), and waking up able to slip into a bikini on are GONE. Gone, without a trace. Eff.

The past few weeks, I’ve been really getting back on track. So there’s been cooking, being that shlumpy lady at the work out class, and drinking less. I need wine though. Being healthy is not worth enough that I will ever give up wine, kids. I’ve got to have sanity and so many things require a buzz. Thank you Zinfandel, Cab Franc, and Malbec… You’re my golden girls. 

I try and remind myself I have to wear a swimsuit happily in August so I put down the cookie. Ok, I didn’t but I ate some spinach later. Moderation, right? I actually do like working out, it’s just I’m a slacker about making the time. I generally always feel so much better getting some serious movement in my life. My fitfusion membership has helped. When I’m uninspired or broke AF, I have no excuse not to select a video and get some fit in. I’ve mostly focused on Jillian Michaels & Tara Stiles ( yoga, beatches) but there’s a ton of trainers on there.

We’ve got summer orientation galore, so I’m crazy busy at the new job but I’m really enjoying it. I’ve just got to eat like a grown person and keep up the workouts. I did lose a pair of jeans to the thigh rub battle the other day and that was a sad loss. RIP Gap skinny jeans… You served me well… Even in the end when I was clearly a size larger. You mustered on, thank you for your service.

My summer fit has ups & downs. Sunday, I lost all control at a BBQ and ate all the chips, hummus, and wine. There may have been pasta as well. But I got in a Saturday workout so ya know I’m trying.

At least I still have 9 weeks left. I’m off to drink lemon water and not snack… Ok the chips are gone so there’s nothing to snack on #willpower.

Besos,

lbg

That 10 percent

Back, back, back and forth.

Being an adult is learning that you have control over maybe 10% of the things in your life on a good day. On a bay day, all you’ve got is 1% which is how you handle it. There has been quite a bit of back and forth’ing in 2016. I’m still here (thankfully) and getting to place where I can gear up and strive to hit that 10%.

That pretty month of May effed some shizz up….but June will be here in a few days and I plan on making the Summer months work for me. Finance wise, my budget didn’t work and we had a LOT of unplanned expenses related to my boyfriend’s graduation and some family events. Not to mention, I’ve been buying my lunches for at least two weeks (that’s 100 that wasn’t planned right there). My body/fitness has turned into a softer and larger lump…not good. I mean naked (still decent) but my clothes like to leave indentations over my body after I take them off…so not good. I finally decided that I needed to step up and take back my 10%. So…Saturday morning, I stepped on the scale and thought well…that explains why all my clothes without elastic are painful. Keep in mind, it’s still a healthy weight but more than my 5 foot body is used to carrying and way less muscle. BLARGH. Yes, my toes need a pedicure…badly.

I’m going to rally for June and try to bring some financial fitness, mental wellness, and you know real exercise to mi vida. I re-added the my fitness pal (mfp) app to my phone so that I can, ya know, actually be accountable for the food choices that I’m making. I’ve been sick this week and cancelled fun plans to stay home and get better. Hashtag adulting. I bought some groceries on Saturday that supported me eating vegetables and getting better.

The thought of exercise exists me at this point but I plan to start tomorrow. It’s completely against my will but it’s work out or buy all new pants. I still may need new pants but I have to at least attempt to lose some of this weight.

I do have a goal for ultimate fitness….August 18th. I have a bachelorette party that I’ve very excited for!!! There will wine tasting, dancing, a dope house with a swimming pool and I will be expected to wear a swimsuit and there will photographic evidence. Sigh, every girl’s nightmare. Therefore the plan is to not look like a blob by this date. Non-blobby would be ideal with all my young cute 29 year old girlfriends even though I’m a 35 year old lady (Grandma, really) that would like to be in a maxi dress, pool adjacent. Anything with stretch really.

 

That just makes me want to live in elastic and chug wine…and gain zero weight…that is a girls dream…throw in sex with 90s Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum and the entire Magic Mike crew dancing for me and my girlfriends…yep, that’s about it.

Enjoy your three day weekend, peeps!

lbg

 

Sleepytime

My sleep has been out of whack for what feels like weeks. I had no idea how important sleep is until I was about 32….I mean napping yes but sleeping not so much. Now that I’m about to be 35 (yikes), I know how effing important sleep is but I don’t always get it.

Sleeping plays a big role in all this shizz. Thanks Google.

• Sleep improves your ability to learn…or remember all those bad ideas from your morning meeting.
• When you sleep your heart is healing….just repairing blood vessels, no big deal.
• Sleep helps us maintain healthy weight or lose weight….aka no sleep effs up your hormones.
• When well rested, I’m a nicer person.

Anyways….this week I’m going to PRIORITIZE sleeping like the old lady I am. This means no working out (not like I’ve been doing much of that lately) to ensure I’m home to tackle chores and be in bed by 10:00pm. It seems a little crazy but I just need to get rest, wake up on time, show up to work on time, and not be a zombie while I’m there.

I guess this is a good time as any to also throw down some Febuary goals. January is duzo and this month feels like it’s moving even quicker. I promise before this week is up to take a look at my January goals…..blargh….failing is the new winning, right??? Yea, not so much.

FEBRUARY GOALS – KICKING ME IN THE FACE

• Begin working on getting to bed on time
• Packing my lunch during the Week of the 15th, 22nd, and 29th
  • side note – we had guests this past weekend and haven’t yet gone to the grocery store so I’m cutting myself some slack. Realism, homies.
• Healthy dinners
• Being present at the office….simmer down on the day dreaming.

I’m struggling with a particular work project…a committee I’ve sat on for nearly five years despite my requests to continue to build my skill set. The frustration is heavily impacting my joy in being in the office and my performance. I’m sure I will have an additional post on that later.

Alright kids, I’m off to tackle some work. Hope your February is filled with heart shaped candies.

Besos,

lbg

 

 

 

Clean Eating, Working Out, and other failures on Monday

Okay, okay, this weekend was pretty much filled with drunken shenanigans and brunch. I mean I did manage a four mile walk with my homegirl on Sunday but my eating habits were nothing to write home about….I also consumed enough alcohol on Friday for a small boat of pirates. Whiskey, why are you so delicious in a mixed cocktail???

Friday was one of those nights where you open your purse and review the receipts for clues regarding all the poor choices you made. Hmmm…apparently I bought a round of drinks there too. It happens. Hey, at least I’m spending money on experiences and not things. #minimalism

Week 2 will be better. I’m signed up for three Pure Barre classes (Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday) and this morning I ate kale for breakfast with my eggs. Super duper healthy. My pants are still tight as eff and that jerk face the scale may have gone up 3lbs on Friday but I’m determined to keep going. I blame bloating…..

However I did succeed in being a grown up this weekend by cleaning my kitchen, tidying up the living room, and grocery shopping. My Sunday was evidence that there is part of me that truly can manage adult life….now if I just could get 5 out of the 7 days to look that way, I’d be winning.

I’ve also been doing A LOT of Netflix binge watching. I killed Grace & Frankie this weekend and am SO sad that I don’t have more episodes. I started Sense8 and think I’m into it even though some of the episodes I’m what the eff is going on??? I will write up a little post on Grace & Frankie because it is so WONDERFUL. Sadly, now I have to go and do some work and advise students.

Besos,

lbg

The end of the red hot summer

August Updates Thus Far…

This weekend I cooked and cleaned and basically was a 50’s house wife. It worked though and my casita is pretty damn clean and I’ve brought my lunch err’ day this week and did I mention we’ve also been cooking dinner too. Hashtag winning. There’s something about coming home to a clean house that really just makes me feel extra relaxed. LURVE IT.

I attended Pure Barre on Monday and it kicked my ass. I have another class today but am waiting until I’ve attended three classes to give you all a full review and compare it to Bar Method. I know the suspense is killing you but I have to work for a living and prepare kale, beatches. Yes, kale is what fit people eat and that’s what we’re going for.

I’m getting that itch to cut my hair and do something different. Maybe it’s Falls around the corner….No idea but thinking it might be time to chop this long hair and start fresh.

I’m looking a little chubette and am considering taking a August before and September after to help me keep the motivation…I don’t think I’d post it here but ya know just to keep my ish going.

Work…I’m struggling. I needed a real vacation not double destination wedding duty but I lurve my friends. For instance, this blog post not really work. I need to rally. GET YOUR WORK ON, PEEPS.

Alright, let’s try and get over this hump shall we?

Besos,

lbg

Big Girl Panties and other August Goals!

Running it’s time for us to take a break.

I’m still feeling super ACCOMPLISHED from tackling the San Francisco Marathon and becoming a marathoner. Buuuuttt….I’m so over running. I’ve been dying to do some other type of workout. Also the vacationing, the crazy orientation programming, and running for miles means I’ve been treating my tummy like a garbage can of delicious crap. It’s time to reign that ish back.

August it’s time to put on the big girl panties and get back to some basics.

1. Sign up for Pure Barre (1 month unlimited $100)

I loved what Bar Method did for my body when I was taking those classes. However the $175 membership just got out of my price range. Pure Barre is even more expensive with $220 a month unlimited membership but they offer a newbie deal of $100 for a month…holla! I’m just going to do the single month and I think in September I will be giving classpass a try. In term of my budget, I’ve decided investing in my health is a big plus and helps me stay on track financially. First, going to classes really helps me maintain a schedule. I’m more likely to say no to happy hours and I’m way more likely to come home to cook. Plus my sister is getting married this January and, as vain as it may sound, I would like to look my best. My Mom and Sister are probably going to order a million photos from the photographer which will cover their respective homes until the end of time and I’d like to look FABULOUS. Let’s actually try to bring on my wedding fit for this one. BLARGH!

2. Whole 30

I’m going to try to start my Whole 30 sometime around August 3rd…I think. Anyways, I just need a restart with my eating. I also really really NEED to start bringing my lunch and not eating crap at work. I think getting back to real whole foods for the month of August will set me up for success with my eating. Perhaps in September the focus will be clean eating & tracking my food. I need to get into that bridesmaid dress.

3. Budget, budget, budget

Destination weddings are DUNZO. I’m going to pay for my sister’s wedding ish in CASH. Also really focusing on sticking to my budget and spending on experiences NOT THINGS. Cleaning my apartment and really getting minimal. Less crap, more experiences, and living within my means. I’m going to make this happen.

Alright kiddies, hope you’re having a kick ass Thursday.

Besos,

lbg

My phone dies after 3 hours or I move to a town that prohibits dancing and other pre-marathon nightmares

Going The Distance & Staying Healthy!

We’ve kicked off Week 1 of SF Marathon Training over here on the Hot Mess Express. It’s frightening to look at a 16 week training plan and pray that it prepares you to take on 26.2 miles especially when the farthest you’ve ever run is 13.1 little miles. Monday my plan called for 3 miles but I did 5.1 miles instead since my run home is that distance. Today my plan, let’s just call my plan Jillian like Jillian Michaels the tough trainer….. ok, Jillian has me scheduled for a 5 miler today, a 3 miler tomorrow, with my long Saturday run being 8 miles.

I’m breaking in my Mizuno Wave Inspire 11’s they’ve only got two runs on them so far (12 miles or so) and both times it took about 3 miles for my feet to get cozy. I read on a review that it took about 30 miles for them to be fully broken in so I’m going to give them the rest of the week or so. If not, back to Runner’s Warehouse you go!!! I love their 90 day return policy and amazing deals. Plus if you live in Cali, you can get free overnight delivery. HOLLA!! If these runners fail me I guess it will be the Asics Gel-lyte. Asics is my main squeeze running shoe but for the last few months I ran in the Saucony Fastwich and LURVED IT! Sadly though, I just didn’t feel like it had enough cushioning for me to run 26.2 miles. I decided to try the Mizunos since they’ve been recommended to me at a Road Runner Sports before and I see a lot of peeps sporting them….I’ll keep y’all updated.

I’m thinking of adding a May half marathon to keep me on point with my marathon training but nothing scheduled for sure. I’m nervous about the marathon hills, long runs, and the 6 hour time limit. I guess it’s ok to be nervous at this phase it’s only the beginning. Hopefully by week 8, I will be feeling confident and super hero like.

Today was birthday celebration day at work and I couldn’t resist a cookie and a small silver of poppyseed bundt cake with vanilla frosting….at least I’m running today. O’ahu is 6 weeks away so I’ve been trying to bring the sexy back aka Aloha Fit. I stepped on the scale last Friday and the number wasn’t frightening. Not where I’d want to be but definitely manageable. I’m hoping for a loss on Friday, fingers crossed. I have to say that I’ve definitely stepped up my hydration game which is so so key.

Alright peeps. I’m running out of lunch break but will keep you posted on this new training adventure plus my usual shenanigans, rants, and craziness.

Besos,

lbg

Humpty Hump Wednesday Update on the CRAY CRAY

Monday came and kicked off my Hawaii get fit in 50!

I roughly have fifty something odd days before hitting the Aloha State up for my homie’s wedding. Birthday cake and booze needed to be thrown out the window to make room for the veggies and marathon training.

This week so far has been pretty good with minimal snacking but hey slow and steady wins the race, right? I’m planning on a run today after work just to get the flow going. Next week, I’m going to have to bring it with 4 training days…..SCARY STUFF.

Water consumption, planking, running, and in general bringing my sexy back are a big focus this month.

Speaking of marathon training, I broke out my pocket book, and pulled out all the extra to purchase the following items:

MIZUNO SHOES

SPIBELT

I need to actually carry fuel and my phone and keys and probably other stuff because it’s 26 MILES OF CRAZY! I also felt like this was a good time to get a second pair of shoes for plenty of break in time. It’s getting serious y’all. I feel like you cannot kid around with 26 miles….I mean when you’re with a half it’s just all la-de-dah….I can make it happen.

This weekend I have a 40th birthday dinner for a friend and NOTHING ELSE SCHEDULED! It’s amazing! I cannot wait to clean house, do laundry, and run. Just some straight grown up chores and relaxing. I’m hoping to do some hardcore lunch prep on Sunday night.

Friday, I will face my frenemy (the scale) and see all the damage Birthday 34 has left in its midst. The food and excessive booze have left me with super tight jeans and no desire to be prancing around in a bikini. Hence operation Aloha 50. My snacks are going to be almond butter and apples. I’m kicking all the bread, pasta, and grains to the curb and embracing zucchini noodles and kale. I’m just gonna veggie my way into beach shape! Woo!

Keeping on humping, homies! Friday is in sight!

Besos,

lbg