I’ll tell you what I want…what I really really want

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The past few days have been stressful and not imagined my July going to say the least. My Dad has been in and out of the ER with a terrible skin infection up and down his leg. Hospital food and kicking it with my familia has been the worst for my eating…hello chips, triscuits, and any kind of crunchy munchie.

I stepped on the scale today and wanted to cry…BLARGH…I’m dangerously close to my law school weight however this time around my body composition is much much better. I’ve been working out but I haven’t been running and clearly my body needs the running.

I also need to lay off the sugar…if it has sugar in it, it goes straight into my mouth.

I killed my scale, it was old at least 5 years but it was giving me weight differences of like 5 lbs and that was fucking with my head. I did place about 8lbs of hand weights on there to check for accuracy and it failed to register that weight. Clearly a bad sign. So into the trash it went and I bought a cheap $20 scale but at least it’s accurate.

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At least Great British Baking is back and I can get joy from tv since my life is just one big hot mess.

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I think the new job is going okay but my new boss seems to be hardly there and I’m getting minimal direction which worries me. To top that off, I’m now missing a bunch of work because of my poor Dad. I don’t regret being out but just thinking about heading into the office and how behind I am is TERRIFYING.

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Thankfully I have NOTHING planned for this weekend. Absolutely nada. I intend to clean my house and work out my fat booty.

Honestly, I feel exhausted and that I just want to run away to the beach for 2 weeks but I’m beyond broke with a wedding in Seattle, we can’t really afford to attend but we’re going. All my boyfriend’s grad school friends will be there so it’s a pretty BFD and we can’t pass on it.

My summer is has not been filled with sexy, fit, or any kind of relaxation so those are my goals moving forward…..

To be continued…

Besos,

lbg

Yoga & lemon water will never be as good as wine

Hey Interwebbies,

My life got crazy as eff this Spring and of course when that happens I turn to booze, food, more booze, with some late night snacking. As a 35 year old goddess of a woman, my body behaves accordingly and gains all the weight. Yeah, those 20 year old days of dancing all night, drunkenly eating an entire pizza (alone), and waking up able to slip into a bikini on are GONE. Gone, without a trace. Eff.

The past few weeks, I’ve been really getting back on track. So there’s been cooking, being that shlumpy lady at the work out class, and drinking less. I need wine though. Being healthy is not worth enough that I will ever give up wine, kids. I’ve got to have sanity and so many things require a buzz. Thank you Zinfandel, Cab Franc, and Malbec… You’re my golden girls. 

I try and remind myself I have to wear a swimsuit happily in August so I put down the cookie. Ok, I didn’t but I ate some spinach later. Moderation, right? I actually do like working out, it’s just I’m a slacker about making the time. I generally always feel so much better getting some serious movement in my life. My fitfusion membership has helped. When I’m uninspired or broke AF, I have no excuse not to select a video and get some fit in. I’ve mostly focused on Jillian Michaels & Tara Stiles ( yoga, beatches) but there’s a ton of trainers on there.

We’ve got summer orientation galore, so I’m crazy busy at the new job but I’m really enjoying it. I’ve just got to eat like a grown person and keep up the workouts. I did lose a pair of jeans to the thigh rub battle the other day and that was a sad loss. RIP Gap skinny jeans… You served me well… Even in the end when I was clearly a size larger. You mustered on, thank you for your service.


My summer fit has ups & downs. Sunday, I lost all control at a BBQ and ate all the chips, hummus, and wine. There may have been pasta as well. But I got in a Saturday workout so ya know I’m trying.


At least I still have 9 weeks left. I’m off to drink lemon water and not snack… Ok the chips are gone so there’s nothing to snack on #willpower.


Besos,

lbg

That 10 percent

Back, back, back and forth.

Being an adult is learning that you have control over maybe 10% of the things in your life on a good day. On a bay day, all you’ve got is 1% which is how you handle it. There has been quite a bit of back and forth’ing in 2016. I’m still here (thankfully) and getting to place where I can gear up and strive to hit that 10%.

That pretty month of May effed some shizz up….but June will be here in a few days and I plan on making the Summer months work for me. Finance wise, my budget didn’t work and we had a LOT of unplanned expenses related to my boyfriend’s graduation and some family events. Not to mention, I’ve been buying my lunches for at least two weeks (that’s 100 that wasn’t planned right there). My body/fitness has turned into a softer and larger lump…not good. I mean naked (still decent) but my clothes like to leave indentations over my body after I take them off…so not good. I finally decided that I needed to step up and take back my 10%. So…Saturday morning, I stepped on the scale and thought well…that explains why all my clothes without elastic are painful. Keep in mind, it’s still a healthy weight but more than my 5 foot body is used to carrying and way less muscle. BLARGH. Yes, my toes need a pedicure…badly.

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I’m going to rally for June and try to bring some financial fitness, mental wellness, and you know real exercise to mi vida. I re-added the my fitness pal (mfp) app to my phone so that I can, ya know, actually be accountable for the food choices that I’m making. I’ve been sick this week and cancelled fun plans to stay home and get better. Hashtag adulting. I bought some groceries on Saturday that supported me eating vegetables and getting better.

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The thought of exercise exists me at this point but I plan to start tomorrow. It’s completely against my will but it’s work out or buy all new pants. I still may need new pants but I have to at least attempt to lose some of this weight.

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I do have a goal for ultimate fitness….August 18th. I have a bachelorette party that I’ve very excited for!!! There will wine tasting, dancing, a dope house with a swimming pool and I will be expected to wear a swimsuit and there will photographic evidence. Sigh, every girl’s nightmare. Therefore the plan is to not look like a blob by this date. Non-blobby would be ideal with all my young cute 29 year old girlfriends even though I’m a 35 year old lady (Grandma, really) that would like to be in a maxi dress, pool adjacent. Anything with stretch really.

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That just makes me want to live in elastic and chug wine…and gain zero weight…that is a girls dream…throw in sex with 90s Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum and the entire Magic Mike crew dancing for me and my girlfriends…yep, that’s about it.

Enjoy your three day weekend, peeps!

lbg

 

Take a breath…the world is not crumbling around you

Ok, maybe not a breath, maybe a shot of tequila would be better.

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2016 was supposed to be about fitness and finances. A year where this 35 year old got her ish together and made some real progress toward my effin’ life goals. I just accepted an Assistant Director position, have been diligent about my finances (even w/ a few set-backs) and was getting ready to get my fitness back…I sit here typing this eating dark chocolate. However last night the wheels came off with some issues my Mom. It’s a hot mess and reiterates why I have to kill my debt and be in a better place to help people around me.

My mom has struggled so much with the passing of my Grandmother and never went to grief counseling despite our strong urging. My sister and I thought recently she was doing better but some self destructive habits have come to light. It’s a little bit of a mess right now and the hardest part is that she lied to my sister and has not been honest.

Thankfully, my new boss isn’t in the office until next week and I’ve completed all my tasks so I have some time to help my sister deal with all of this….it’s really just hard and crazy. Hopefully things aren’t too bad but I won’t know until I get down there later tonight. It’s overwhelming but I’m trying to keep a level head. Last night, there was some serious rage, drinking, and crying. You know just the usual Tuesday night. Damn, why does being a grown-up suck so DAMN hard. Seriously!

I have a conference in Santa Barbara for the first few days of May and will be in Portland the second weekend, so the timing is craptastic. Of course, all the joy is being sucked from these things because I’m stressed and will probably stress eat. Only making my clothes even tighter….DAMN…See once again, being a grown-up is not great.

I need to remind myself to read up on loans….see depressing.

Alright, I’m off to microwave a sad sack lunch and attempt to not drink at lunch.

LIZ

Besos,

lbg

April, Prince, and tears

Dear April,

You have been a mixed month of crazy. Allergies, opportunities, and unexpected outings have all lead to a massive month of breaking the bank. I’ve been working late nights which means there has been zero fitness. April is really just all about morbid obesity…and debt. BLARGH!

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It’s really just time for an April update list.

  1. I got a new job! Holla!
  2. They needed me start right away which meant that I started working LATE! Most nights…plus I had to work on Saturday 4/16 for my old job (couple of hours) and Sunday 4/17 for my new job (similar)…so I worked 12 days straight. EXHAUSTION.
  3. As a result of all this working, I bought food (unhealthy & fast) and did not meal prep. There was no time for fitness….so all my clothes are tight and the scale scared me the other day. BLARGH!
  4. Working all the time means my house is a lair of filth….the RAT KING lives here. It’s sad but true.
  5. As a result of leaving my job, so so MANY unexpected expenses, outings, etc have just fucked my budget. It basically went out the window….and crashed into a million pieces on the street below.

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I’m super excited about the new job though!!! It’s the right move despite bad timing and I won’t be broke and fat forever so you know….Monday is a new day and I will start to pull it together at that point.

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I just wanted to drop by and say I’m alive…working non-stop with nothing interesting to report. Perhaps, just that Prince died and it was my first day at my new job and DEVASTATION. Also I didn’t know my new team well enough to blast PRINCE and be sad and say we should all drink at lunch…somehow I thought that might be frowned upon. I’m so sad as I type this….Prince, no! He played a few shows in Oakland not too long ago and I had a homie tell me in advance but I opted out of getting tickets because I’ve been so focused on my budget. REGRETS!!!!! I thought I had time! He was only 57! Anyways, rest in peace and power Prince, you will be greatly missed. I will leave you all with this jam and my favorite Charlie Murphy story of all time.

Sad bastard abrazos,

lbg

 

 

 

I’m old but that means lots of toppings & one nice couch

  

  
The adventures in getting old continue, I’m fairly certain being 35 means that I can only successfully go out one night a weekend. This would be depressing except that as a 35 year old I have a fabulous couch. A couch that I really like lying on and watching tv instead of being at the bar and wanting to lay my head down on it at 12:35am. I still had an awesome time in the city with my young 30 year old girlfriends but tonight I’m happy to be home.

In other old lady news….  

I have truly been ignoring my fitness. Like in every way possible. I ignore the my fancy barre studio, weights at home are dusty, and instead I just eat frozen yogurt with lots of toppings. It’s delicious but clothes are tight and I’m broke. That pretty much means I need to get back on the damn treadmill. So I’m putting this out into the interwebs, 21 days of fitness. Even if it 15 minutes, I’m committing myself to 21 days straight of fitness starting April 3rd…. Because it’s like 9:00pm at night right now. Once again, bringing sexy back! But seriously sexy leaves so quickly like after 2 weeks. 

 

I’m continuing to come back to my 2016 theme of finances & fitness. In terms of finances, I’m still here, beatches! I work on my budget, each month and track my spending even when it’s over. I make notes in future month budget tabs so I can plan appropriately. It’s had its ups and downs but the biggest difference is I’m still trying. I really want to kill my credit card debt, and then I’ll attempt to figure out my crushing student loan debt & improve retirement. However one thing at a time!!! Or I’ll just effing cry.  

2016 finances are all about killing the wicked credit card debt and saying no to things I can’t afford. I said no to destination November wedding and another trip. Go, me! It sucks but I really want to end 2016 in a stronger place financially… Even if it means kicking it with my couch more. I was toying with the idea of trying to pick up a weekend job like at Whole Foods for a few months to really help but decided to wait & see what happens with the interview process for this other job. 

The more I read about debt, it seems that a lot of peeps pick up side hustles, so we’ll see.  

Sunday, you’re going to be a game changer! There will be laundry, house cleaning, meal prep, and firness! Success will be mine!!! Or at the very least I will say no to the frozen yogurt…. Ok, I won’t get toppings.

Besos,

lbg 

And so it begins….mid thirties

There’s a lot of change in the wind and I’m trying to hold on for the ride. I’m having some bumps with this new whole fiscal responsible thing but I’m really proud of myself so far. I’m trying to see where I’m spending, how, and when I eff up take it with stride and say “Ok, self…why did this happen and how do I get back on track?” It’s new and hard but I’m committed to making it happen.

My relationship is having some growing pains. There’s so much love but we’re trying to figure out where we both want to be in our next phase of life and if that’s the same…It’s really fucking hard. It’s crazy mature but it also sucks to really love someone and be uncertain that you’re on the same page. We’re trying to figure it out and keep the dialogue open and honest. So you have that…..

I’ve been in the process of applying for a position, and then I got an interview, and then I was a finalist. Now, I’m waiting to see what happens….I really do want it and am keeping my fingers crossed. Trying to trust that the universe has a plan for me and if it’s meant to happen it will happen. I do feel that my interviews were very strong and have little that I regret in terms of preparation or responses….so now I just have to wait….that’s hard.

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Fitness has really been the last priority….I’m averaging like once a week if that…. 35 is supposed to be about finances and fitness so I need to really pull that part together. With interviewing, I didn’t have time to meal prep and was buying my lunch like a fool. This week, I’m back on it and prepared 5 healthy lunches. Tonight, I’m going to work out at home which is why I’m blogging (ACCOUNTABILITY). I need to get some fit in and hopefully it will help clear my head so I don’t dive head first into a pint of ice cream….which is better than alcohol.

Oh yea…I already did that on my actual birthday and it may have ended with me puking and drunk crying about being old….I was straight out of a movie…a sadder less glamorous Bridget Jones movie.

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Anyways, that’s what’s going on in these parts, Interwebbies…Hopefully there will be more to report soon. News that’s funny and hilarious and involves me working out. But for today is just Old Lady News about trying to keep it together and navigate my mid-thirties like a grown person….and not a Grey’s Anatomy character.

Greys

Besos,

lbg