These are my updates for you
- I applied for a job….making it happen. It closed yesterday and my Christmas wishes include prayers that I get a call back. Finger crossed.
- I have a holiday party (today), a get together with friends at my casita (tomorrow), and a birthday dinner for my Dad w/ familia (Saturday). Needless to say I am broke, broke, broke, and busy.
- I made some Holiday Sangria for the holiday party – it’s always a crowd pleaser and WAY easy. I’ll have to post the link next time.
- I’m looking forward to a short break 12/24 – 1/3 so hooraysssssssssss – no work!
- Just trying to keep my head up and not get to down.
Holidays are simply crazy.
I DON’T HOLD GRUDGES
AGHHHHH!!!! THIS OFFICE MAKES ME CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY!
I have no idea what I will do, peeps! Please send help!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A NEW JOB.
BESOS Y COOKIES,
LITTLE BROWN GIRL
Good Morning Bloggy World,
There have been ups and downs this week. I’m gonna try and be a happy camper and not dwell on the shitastic situation that is my job. I will just say I came home and cried one day because I was so angry. I’m being lead by idiots with no leadership skills or charm and it baffles me. However as a wise friend once said “It’s so much better to cry hot angry tears than punch anyone in the face at work while yelling you’re STUPID!” Word, kids.
On the upside, I got my Christmas on in FULL SWING. Last night, we got a lovely FAT Christmas tree, busted out the holiday musica, had us a fire, and watched the Family Stone. Oh and of course there was wine 🙂 Seriously, me and the boy had way to much fun just laughing and trying to get this damn tree in our adorbs apartment.
Meet our tree, Fatty! We wanted him since he was lonely in the corner and due to his fat awkward (some might say adorable) shape – he might end up w/o a home. Sad face, right? We later found out from our local Christmas Tree lot Hustler that he was much taller but broke hence his awkward shape.
Here’s a lovely little shot of our glorious fire! I love having a fire going during the winter. It makes everything feel so cozy and warm.
The last tenants (dirty people) didn’t clean out our fireplace so I did a mini-clean so we just threw a duraflame in there for safety reasons but I fully expect we’ll have some real fires soon.
I also promptly begin drinking this little lovely on Thanksgiving all the way through January 🙂
BAILEYS IN MY COFFEE POR VIDA!!!!!!!
I hope you all are enjoying the holiday season! Peace out w/ a little Mariah 🙂
HOT MESSES FOR DECEMBER THUS FAR
You know I want to say it’s getting better but in reality the leadership of this office is getting worse and worse. On top of that (or more likely because of that) moral is plummeting. Mine in particular is non-existent. I refuse to stay late anymore or work on weekends which means I’m behind and not motivated to catch up. I search for jobs several times a day but don’t want to jump into a crazier plan/place just because I’m going grey and see number 3) below. However there is something that may show some promise so we’ll see. I just don’t know how to get my mojo back and am very uncertain of the direction of my office other than leadership feels like its not a big deal to over work us or provide any support. No words….so I’m just trying to keep afloat as best I can and dream of doing anything else….yea not good.
2. FALLING GRANDMAS AND OTHER ITEMS THAT MAY CAUSE YOUR MOTHER TO BREAK DOWN
My little Grandma ate it this weekend and needed to get stitches in her face. My mother is doing the best to take care of her but my Uncle is really not holding up his end of the bargain. I adore my Grandma but she’s not easy-going and is definitely a handful. I want to help my Mom but I don’t think she’s quite sure what she needs. Its overwhelming and hard and I really worry about how much stress my Grandma is causing my Mom. I worry about my poor little Mama having a heart attack over all the ish my Grandma puts her through…sigh. So its hard. Literally if my Grandma could behave and listen to my Mama bear about 50% of the drama could be avoided. However this little Grandma is 94 and still fully cognizant (we’re pretty lucky) and will be doing things her way until the end and she really doesn’t give a damn. Soooo as my mother says “It’s a battle of the wills!”
3. FATTY FATTY FOOD ENTERING MY MOUTH OR OTHER WAYS TO PRETEND TO COPE WITH STRESS
Job, familia, and see 5) below all mean STRESS! Plus holidays, plans, and friends all calling are pretty much making me stress out like nobody’s business. Basically to cope I walk by the break room and see cookies, cake, bagels, and eat three. Yep, three. I feel better until I don’t and am dulling the stress with any type of foods and baked goods. It doesn’t help that I am the tiny one in my family so there’s a kind of awhh don’t worry about it attitude which just makes me feel ok about eating poorly. I would like to lose some of the weight I’ve gained these past few months but at the end of the day I’m still at a healthy weight (hooray!) but I know I feel better about 10lbs lighter. Also the lack of running just compounds my stress and holiday snacking. Plus I just can’t give up my cocktails so I don’t have room for the bagel/cookie/breakroom vices.
But yeah I totally had a vegan chocolate donut this morning…..I suck!
4.FREEZING COLD WEATHER – AKA I LIVE IN CALI SO I DON’T DO THIRTY DEGREE WEATHER
Do you see this image above??????? It was 30 degrees when I woke up this morning and the past week it’s stayed in the mid-forties all day! Today has been the “warm day.” My lovely office also has ZERO heating. This means I am wearing my outside layers at my desk as I type this. It’s freezing peeps! I am not used to days that start with 30 and end in 37. That’s too damn cold! The Bay Area should shut down if for some reason it’s below 45 degrees. DAMN YOU, GLOBAL WARMING!
5. BREAKING THE BANK AND OTHER REASONS I’M A POOR EDUCATOR
Christmas gifts make me poor. Holiday parties make me poor. Get togethers at restaurants make me really poor. I do LOVE LOVE all the gatherings and spending the moola is fun until it’s the end of the month and I’m eating ramen. But it’s not the end of the month yet so I am in DENIAL!
For now that is the current state of affairs. I’m eating an apple right now but I just polished off some chicken strips from the School Cafe so yeah….
Hope your December messes are more manageable than mine!
The day after was pretty rough but I slowly pulled myself out of bed. I scrubbed my bathroom and did some cleaning of the bedroom and unpacking. I made use of my time. Me and the boy also talked it out a bit so the night ended well for us. He had a dinner meeting so I grabbed sushi with a homie which added a little smile to the day.
I managed through the week and ran into the arms of the weekend. Sigh, Interwebs it feels like so much and so little is going on with me.
I have managed to avoid this stress by eating all kinds of unhealthy items and throwing back the wine. Seriously not good.
I’m trying to search my little heart for what makes me smile, happy, and look forward to each day. I’m stuck in a hamster wheel runt and its time to break out of it.
Still trying to find my way…
Epic fail of having a blow out fight with your boyfriend first thing in the morning. So when the tears come you realize yeah you won’t be leaving the house today. You don’t text him because you need to be alone and figure out all these overwhelming feelings that you’d prefer to drink away or just shake off because that’s the way you grew up.
Two people moving in together in their thirties is so much harder than being young, super poor, moving in. You’re adults with your own opinions, baggage, furniture that you love and may have to give up. It’s just different. Especially if you have a partner that’s lived alone for 7 years – to say its an adjustment is an overstatement.
We’re struggling to find balance and hosting families, traveling for Thanksgiving, my own familia issues have only made them harder. I haven’t made time to run and work right now is anything but easy. It’s just everything is hard. And on top of it this man I do love is very sensitive. He’s made of fine china and I’m all elbows. He fronts about hurt feelings, loses his temper, and yells. I hate yelling and walk away. We need to communicate better but it’s hard. Balance is hard and so is life.
Sometimes you need a break to climb back under the covers. I will get up and start over… Each day is a chance for that and a blessing. It just sucks right now, everything feels so hard, and I feel like I’m failing.
You need to start somewhere and these days I don’t even know where to start.