That 10 percent

Back, back, back and forth.

Being an adult is learning that you have control over maybe 10% of the things in your life on a good day. On a bay day, all you’ve got is 1% which is how you handle it. There has been quite a bit of back and forth’ing in 2016. I’m still here (thankfully) and getting to place where I can gear up and strive to hit that 10%.

That pretty month of May effed some shizz up….but June will be here in a few days and I plan on making the Summer months work for me. Finance wise, my budget didn’t work and we had a LOT of unplanned expenses related to my boyfriend’s graduation and some family events. Not to mention, I’ve been buying my lunches for at least two weeks (that’s 100 that wasn’t planned right there). My body/fitness has turned into a softer and larger lump…not good. I mean naked (still decent) but my clothes like to leave indentations over my body after I take them off…so not good. I finally decided that I needed to step up and take back my 10%. So…Saturday morning, I stepped on the scale and thought well…that explains why all my clothes without elastic are painful. Keep in mind, it’s still a healthy weight but more than my 5 foot body is used to carrying and way less muscle. BLARGH. Yes, my toes need a pedicure…badly.

I’m going to rally for June and try to bring some financial fitness, mental wellness, and you know real exercise to mi vida. I re-added the my fitness pal (mfp) app to my phone so that I can, ya know, actually be accountable for the food choices that I’m making. I’ve been sick this week and cancelled fun plans to stay home and get better. Hashtag adulting. I bought some groceries on Saturday that supported me eating vegetables and getting better.

The thought of exercise exists me at this point but I plan to start tomorrow. It’s completely against my will but it’s work out or buy all new pants. I still may need new pants but I have to at least attempt to lose some of this weight.

I do have a goal for ultimate fitness….August 18th. I have a bachelorette party that I’ve very excited for!!! There will wine tasting, dancing, a dope house with a swimming pool and I will be expected to wear a swimsuit and there will photographic evidence. Sigh, every girl’s nightmare. Therefore the plan is to not look like a blob by this date. Non-blobby would be ideal with all my young cute 29 year old girlfriends even though I’m a 35 year old lady (Grandma, really) that would like to be in a maxi dress, pool adjacent. Anything with stretch really.

 

That just makes me want to live in elastic and chug wine…and gain zero weight…that is a girls dream…throw in sex with 90s Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum and the entire Magic Mike crew dancing for me and my girlfriends…yep, that’s about it.

Enjoy your three day weekend, peeps!

lbg

 

Take a breath…the world is not crumbling around you

Ok, maybe not a breath, maybe a shot of tequila would be better.

2016 was supposed to be about fitness and finances. A year where this 35 year old got her ish together and made some real progress toward my effin’ life goals. I just accepted an Assistant Director position, have been diligent about my finances (even w/ a few set-backs) and was getting ready to get my fitness back…I sit here typing this eating dark chocolate. However last night the wheels came off with some issues my Mom. It’s a hot mess and reiterates why I have to kill my debt and be in a better place to help people around me.

My mom has struggled so much with the passing of my Grandmother and never went to grief counseling despite our strong urging. My sister and I thought recently she was doing better but some self destructive habits have come to light. It’s a little bit of a mess right now and the hardest part is that she lied to my sister and has not been honest.

Thankfully, my new boss isn’t in the office until next week and I’ve completed all my tasks so I have some time to help my sister deal with all of this….it’s really just hard and crazy. Hopefully things aren’t too bad but I won’t know until I get down there later tonight. It’s overwhelming but I’m trying to keep a level head. Last night, there was some serious rage, drinking, and crying. You know just the usual Tuesday night. Damn, why does being a grown-up suck so DAMN hard. Seriously!

I have a conference in Santa Barbara for the first few days of May and will be in Portland the second weekend, so the timing is craptastic. Of course, all the joy is being sucked from these things because I’m stressed and will probably stress eat. Only making my clothes even tighter….DAMN…See once again, being a grown-up is not great.

I need to remind myself to read up on loans….see depressing.

Alright, I’m off to microwave a sad sack lunch and attempt to not drink at lunch.

Besos,

lbg

It will all work out…

The rush of hormones and resulting emotions during your period make you extra human. All that extra, for me at least, makes me feel everything intensely and sometimes painfully. That I’m struggling, that no says your thirties are really hard, that I miss my Grandma at the most unexpected moments, and sometimes you cry.

I hate the feeling of being lost or failing….it’s not easy, its hard but these feelings are important. There’s a lesson in them, in where they came from. Unlike happiness though, you often can’t know in a moment. You need time to process and give you a more objective view. When you’re 13 you feel like when will time start? When will things start to happen and then 17, 18 and times are finally happening…20’s seems like so much is possible…by 26 I kinda felt like a real person….and now 35 is a month and a day away and I’m not sure what I want. I mean besides being a real grown-up.

Love. Maybe?

Today is a day for tears and extra human. I’ll run and hide in a book later, far away to Paris, or a desert, or the past to let those dreams wash over me. Friday will be a fresh day to take a step back and breathe, the weekend will provide reflection, and I’ll let myself move forward. Slowly.

I know really no one knows what they’re doing….we just all somehow manage. Today though it feels like I’m lost and that my best is miserable. These things sometimes happen so I will lay here for a minute and get back up again.

-lbg

I’ve been dranking and hot gluing and bachelorette planning

You don’t ever think that one day you’ll be a grown up, stressed out over custom heart shaped glasses but that’s life for you.

I’m a little over a month out in planning my one and only sister’s bachelorette party and I fluctuate between excitement, anger and being overwhelmed. I know if my sister was planning this type of event it would be cute, fun, and perfect. I’m having some issues since her other two bridesmaids suck. If it was just them there would be nothing planned except for a last minute night out with zero thought at all…..which I wouldn’t mind in the least but that’s not my sister’s steez. The chica scrapbooks, hot glues, and successfully does pinterest crafts. I mean c’mon I can’t toss her a shot and throw her in a dive bar and call it party. Plus my sister hates dive bars.

So we’re brunching and wine tasting with an optional sleep over.  I’ve booked the limo shuttle (holla) and have reservations secured at winery #1, waiting on winery #2 and winery #3. I have a brunch menu planned and favors just ordered!

The sash already came and it’s even cuter in person. The custom tattoos are on their way and I just placed my order for the custom sunglasses. The theme is “Drunk In Love” so the glasses will have that on one side and each girl’s name on the other. BAM. Also PS I’m super pleased with my idea for a Drunk In Love theme.

Everything else is just going to be streamers, hand made signs, and glitter spray glued to champagne bottles and plastic cups. I think it will be cute or a total pin fail but at least I tried, right?? I really wanted to order paper invitations but I just don’t think that’s going to happen especially since I’m going alone.

I’m asking the two other bridesmaids to do lunch so keep your fingers crossed.

Alright, I’m off to call wineries and price glitter.

Besos,

lbg

The thirties is where shizz gets real

Being in your thirties kind of sucks and I wish more people would talk about that.

So I’m going to post about it…suck it, world.

Your 20s are awesome and you can kinda get by with your poor choices, random crazy, and drinking far too much with your buddies. By 30 though ish just really starts to change and time speeds up exponentially. Friends are getting married, people have babies, good babies, bad babies, friends with babies that are afraid to leave the house….all true stories. You start to realize ummmm retirement….or I should buy a house….or I’m so buried in student debt that I won’t be able to buy a house. People get sick parents which is devastating….some people have to care for and bury their parents. There’s a lot less drinking with your buddies and more pouring wine alone with Netflix. You start to see people more at less fun planned stuffy events rather than random hang out sessions…. showers/parties that you have to buy gifts for….just take my check Crate & Barrel….go on..just take it. PS try and not drink too much at said party and throw up in front of someone’s mother in law or two year old. You worry about your job, getting paid more or less money, are you still dream chasing or just hoping not to kick your boss in the face???

Trust me, there are good things in your 30s too but you probably already know them. This is a rude awakening post not yeah 30 is the new 20 post.

This 34 year old is have such a rude awakening and as a result I’m really trying to take back my 30s and embrace this whole lame grown-up thing…because basically I don’t want to be a homeless 60 year old. Well, what does one do to take back their life which has made a swift turn into grown-up land??? I can only tell you what I’m doing but if you have advice, please do share.  I’m taking classes…yes, classes.

I’ve signed up for the following classes or single day workshops to kick my 34 year old butt into grown-up land. I mean currently I’ve been kicking it on the borderland of late 20s slacking and early thirties island. The geography of all this is in fact quite complex. Here’s what I’ve signed up for so far and why?

• Women & Leadership Career course (6 weeks) – I’ve veered from my original career plan and I need some help to shape my career, determine how to grow it, and balance that with other life stuff. I’ve heard great things about the course and hey investing in your career and yourself is SUPER grown-up. Starts in September so I will keep you posted. Career Planning – Making it happen.
• Getting Out of Debt (workshop) – I want to kill my credit cards but when your sister is having a big fancy wedding, you unavoidably need to spend money, and I need help.
• Working With a Financial Planner (workshop) – See above but add my student debt plus I want to one day retire and not on the streets.
• Planning Your Pregnancy Leave workshop – because one day and I think I should know about all the ways campus maternity leave suck so I can plan accordingly.

Thankfully they are all spread out over the next few months and I’m hoping they will assist me in my plan to be a mildly successful adult.

Ok, now I’m going to finish this breakfast burrito.

besos,

lbg

I haven’t written for the longest time….woahhhh oh oh oh…for the longest tiiiimmmme!

Dearest Interwebs,

It’s been a million and one years but your favorite lbg is still trucking along making bad choices and trying to pretend that I am a sophisticated grown up. A good blogger would of actually looked at the last time she posted and write a proper summary. You’re not on her blog but I assume you’re hear for the shenanigans, to feel better about your own situation, or to learn from my mistakes. Anyways, I’m glad you’re here to kick even if it is only for my 80’s references and love of Salt-n-Pepa.

Running

Since I typically write about my attempt to keep the sexy going on and running, it’s only fair we have a little update. I have to be the WORST SF Marathon trainee ever! Well let’s back up a bit. I headed out to Hawaii for my home girl’s wedding on May 20th. I had planned to run on Monday, Tuesday before I left and signed up for the Hibiscus Half on Sunday (while in Hawaii). Did I run on Monday and Tuesday? Of course not. I had a million of work things and trip prep – so yep, no running. I preceded to drink away my vacation, enjoy the sun, surf, and hawaiian pork err’day. I slept for 2 whole hours the night prior to the Hibiscus Half because I was out at the bars with my homegirls. Despite all that I got my hella tired ass up and tackled that bad boy in 2 hours and 14 minutes! Holla!!! The humidity was NOT my friend. I was walking to the race start from my hotel at 5am in the morning and the weather was so perfect until I had to run. The first 3 miles of humidity hit me hard but my body adjusted and I somehow managed. I was able to see the sun come up as I ran behind Diamond Head which was AMAZING. I would ABSOLUTELY recommend this race even though you’re running on the highway for part of it (which is totes SKETCH) but you should knock it out at the beginning of vacay. I came back from Hawaii and this week have not run once!!!! SLACKER! I finally confided in my friend Heather that I just hadn’t hit a single training run this week and she was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? Apparently this is not the proper way to train for a marathon. Since I can’t remember the last time I blogged, you should know I did run a 15 miler in here and that is my longest training run as of yet. Today I ran 14.5 miles and it was TERRIBLE but I DID IT!!! Monday, will be all about bringing the training back and letting go of my party girl diet. The marathon is on July 26th so I still have all of June and most of July to get there. Prayers are being accepted.

HAWAII aka I’m poor and made bad budgeting decisions

I had an amazing time and I wish I could of stayed longer to be honest but with the Budapest trip/friend destination wedding coming up I just didn’t have the vacation days to spare. I do have to say that I prefer Maui over Oahu but I still had an amazing time. I spent more money than I budgeted so that REALLY sucks. I had a great time and don’t regret the extra spluring BUT I should have budgetted more. DAMN. This month will be pretty tight but as long as I just say no to buying lunch and don’t get crazy on the weekends I will be okay. Basically I need to cook and drink at home. I also applied for a higher paying job so there’s that but let’s keep that on the down low.

WORK…..sucks

This week starts Orientation for all our new frosh which means the next six weeks will be filled with crazy. They will all be pre-med or pre-business and their little hearts will break when they realize their test scores won’t meet course requirements and that we have 8 majors that you have to apply too (aka some of you will be denied entry). There will be laughs, new friends, panic attacks…you know Tier One Research Institution freshman shenangins. I will present, host small advising sessions, individual sessions, and cry everytime I look at my inbox to see another 20 emails from new frosh each day. There is a lot of fun to be had but generally you leave exhauseted each day and by the final week I’m just that lady that crushed your dreams and is running to the bar right after work.

Speaking of work, this lbg needs to get her beauty sleep….ok, I need to finish my wine and THEN get my beauty sleep. I mean my freshman think 34 is ancient so hopefully I can pull a 30 with some water and sleep.

Night homies!

Oh and for your moment of zen

Besos,

lbg

The Real World Blogosphere!!!

It’s been a hot minute….yes, I am a bad blogger. I disappear but hey at least I’m back now!!??

Alright let’s do some bullet point style catch up and then we can jump all in on this cray cray Thursday. Kayzo?

• Marathon Training has looked a little something like this:
• 
• I’m doing the 30 day ab challenge on days where I don’t run and actually remember to do so. I’m only on day 7 but aloha fit, kiddies.
• 
• I have 3.5 weeks until Hawaii!!! I have been putting off trying on swimsuits to exam the situation. Let me just also put it out there that I’m a swimsuit hoarder. Hopefully before Sunday, I will sort through my drawer and get rid of the ones I don’t need and find something suitable for mini-wedding vacay.
• I’ve been doing some SERIOUS cleaning and purging of the casita and it’s going well. There’s still more to do but I have two boxes at my front door for Goodwill. Holla, I’m feeling like a grown-up.
• Running is going pretty well but I haven’t had to go past that mile 13.1 marker yet which is when shizz will start getting real as they used to say about the “Real World.”
• I’ve worked the last two Saturdays and am very much looking forward to an entire weekend off, thank you baby Jesus.

This week the boyfriend’s parents were in town and it was very nice but effed up my training schedule. I barely did my first run last night so all my ish is gonna be crazy.

Wednesday – 4.4 mile – DUNZO

Thursday – 6 miler

Friday – 3 miler

Saturday – REST!!!!

Sunday – 11 miles (I have a 12k race that I’m running to and from to hit my 11)

BLARGH, there’s no wiggle room but that’s how it goes sometimes.

I need to get on the Mother’s Day planning with my sister. Although I found a pretty cute gift possibility on Etsy so that was a win. I also need to lock down the Luau tickets for the homies for Hawaii. May is going to go by HELLA fast and all I can hope is that I stay on budget and keep on with my running. I’m so excited for the Hibiscus Half!!!!! There’s also a small possibility we may try to hit up Greece for a day or two before our Budapest trip so fingers crossed.

I wish I had more to write, peeps, but really I’m just working working working.

Besos,

lbg

FRIDAY LOVE & HATE and the cray cray between!

MIZUNO WE’RE BREAKING UP!

No offense if these are your jam but yesterday I felt like I was changing my stride to avoid pain in my left foot and this morning my left knee hurts. BACK YOU GO! I ended my 5 miler a little early to be on the safe side and I’m glad I did. Anyways, I boxed up those jerk faces this morning and plan to get my booty over to UPS this afternoon on my lunch break. I’m requesting some New Balances in exchange and hoping that these will rock my running world. If not back to my clunky Asics but at least they get the job done.

My allergies are crazy today. I just sneezed like five times in a row. Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the idea. I weighed myself this morning and I had a 1.3 lb gain!! HOW???? I mean there was a cookie, some popcorn, half a donut one day but I definitely watching my foodage this week. Sigh, the body is such a weird thing. Maybe I should actually measure myself. I was feeling super bloated this morning so maybe my body is hoarding water. No idea but seriously putting a damper on my aloha fit. BLARGH!

Get away from me with your jello pudding! It’s making me fat! Dude, do they still make jello pudding packs? Those bad boys were delicious and apparently that’s where my 1980s mind went w/ visual weight gain.

I’m linking up w/ Amanda of the Fabulous Meet Me at the Barre for Friday Favorites with an EVIL TWIST!!!!

FRIDAY HATE HATE!!!!! The Evil Twin of Friday Favorites!

These are the things that are driving me cray to the zee this week and so for your reading pleasure, FRIDAY HOT HATE LURVE!

1) Mizunos as mentioned above they suck (for me!) and I have a slight knee issue from my three runs….Seriously!!! BLARGH!

2) Students that say “Oh this packet is a little crumpled” and then precede to pull sheets of paper that look like they’ve been through war. Nope, not a corner bent or even bent in half but full on crumple status as though someone made an airplane out of it and you have decided to now submit it as an official document.

3) That is take hours and hours to clean my entire casita but in a single night it can be destroyed.

4) When people ask about my weekend and I say “Well I have an 8 mile run” and they immediately say “That’s terrible!”…..thanks for all the support.

5) Really old Deans that don’t understand racism…umm, yes sir…I think it may be time to retire. Bye, bye. We thank you for some of your non-racist service. Best wishes and enjoy this fruit basket.

6) Laundry….it seems to multiple while I’m at work!

Alright kids, I hope you have an absolutely fabulous weekend planned and manage to get all your ALOHA FIT in!!! We’re in this together. I will run and cross-train! Positive thoughts, right?

Besos,

lbg

Humpty Hump Wednesday Update on the CRAY CRAY

Monday came and kicked off my Hawaii get fit in 50!

I roughly have fifty something odd days before hitting the Aloha State up for my homie’s wedding. Birthday cake and booze needed to be thrown out the window to make room for the veggies and marathon training.

This week so far has been pretty good with minimal snacking but hey slow and steady wins the race, right? I’m planning on a run today after work just to get the flow going. Next week, I’m going to have to bring it with 4 training days…..SCARY STUFF.

Water consumption, planking, running, and in general bringing my sexy back are a big focus this month.

Speaking of marathon training, I broke out my pocket book, and pulled out all the extra to purchase the following items:

MIZUNO SHOES

SPIBELT

I need to actually carry fuel and my phone and keys and probably other stuff because it’s 26 MILES OF CRAZY! I also felt like this was a good time to get a second pair of shoes for plenty of break in time. It’s getting serious y’all. I feel like you cannot kid around with 26 miles….I mean when you’re with a half it’s just all la-de-dah….I can make it happen.

This weekend I have a 40th birthday dinner for a friend and NOTHING ELSE SCHEDULED! It’s amazing! I cannot wait to clean house, do laundry, and run. Just some straight grown up chores and relaxing. I’m hoping to do some hardcore lunch prep on Sunday night.

Friday, I will face my frenemy (the scale) and see all the damage Birthday 34 has left in its midst. The food and excessive booze have left me with super tight jeans and no desire to be prancing around in a bikini. Hence operation Aloha 50. My snacks are going to be almond butter and apples. I’m kicking all the bread, pasta, and grains to the curb and embracing zucchini noodles and kale. I’m just gonna veggie my way into beach shape! Woo!

Keeping on humping, homies! Friday is in sight!

Besos,

lbg

If Atreyu and Tupac had a rap song I’d be their back-up dancer

I’m feeling like Tupac this week, me against the world styles.

Yesterday was a toughie, jury duty all day, home for a quick old lady dinner, back to work to present an evening study abroad panel for the bebes, and amidst all that ish navigating some familia issues. Of course, I couldn’t sleep and today am feeling a little like I got hit by a truck or that I just lost my horse to the swamp of sadness.

Running this week didn’t happen due to all of that above but I’m here blogging to hold my slacker self accountable. I’m hoping to actually get this booty up early (eek) and get my run on! Thursday morning run, Friday morning run, and long run on Saturday. I can do this!!! I have been off my game all week and I need to get it back!!!

I WILL get some sleep tonight, run in the morning, and basically be an actual grown-up!!!!

In other news, I tried a bullet proof coffee at Whole Foods and it was definitely different…..It was creamy in a buttery way…I don’t know if it’s something I’d do on a regular basis but it kept me fuller during my full morning of court. Sigh, jury duty continues on and it’s like my cousin Vinnie but instead of being hilarious it’s tedious. Please baby Jesus let me back at work on Friday….please.

I wish I could say more but I am forbidden from discussing the case, trial, shenanigans, and jury room dealings at this time. SIGH….tedious…..so so tedious. Keep in mind I’m nerdy and despite the terrible timing I was actually excited to perform my civic duty. Serving has definitely been the right word to describe my experience.

Alright homies, I hope you’ve been getting your fit on this week. Ya know, so at least one of us is accomplishing something.

Besos,

lbg