HOUDINI IS BACK, Beatches…oh and get your Monday On!!!

I’m sorry that I went all Harry Houdini on you, Interwebbies. I promise I didn’t intend to drop off the face of this planet but life gets straight up loca at time, ya know?

Ok, maybe not quite as crazy as prison but pretty damn crazy. First, some theme musica to set the tone…and we’ll jump into everything this old lady has been up too while you were kicking it on the interwebs.


1. WORK….it’s a b-i
I’ve fallen off this whole blogging fiasco due to work. Sadly, blogging pays no bills and I need to actually bring in some skrill so me and the bf can pay our expensive bay area rent. October is the month when all hell breaks loose because we release the Spring schedule of classes and Spring registration times. Students pour into the office with questions, concerns, tears, and generally unrealistic Spring schedules. My job is to laugh at them is review these schedule dreams and try to talk some sense into them. Listen, you are at our fancy pants university so clearly you’re a bright kid but that schedule will only cause you tears. I win some and lose some and sometimes you just need to end up on academic probation to learn your lesson. Check yourself before you wreck yourself….those are words of true wisdom. Anyways, the bebes suck all the energy out of me and have been leaving me in a exhausted, worthless, blob of a person on the couch. However at least they are walking out of my office thinking of realistic majors, with a two year plan, and most of the time in good spirits. I did miss my interwebbies and your blogs gave me joy during this draining time.



2. TEACHING!!! The young minds need molding.
This semester your homegirl has been teaching a freshman seminar and I love it!!! I put tons of prep into my class of bebes and am really enjoying myself. I can’t lie, two weeks ago I had my teaching observation and OBSESSED the entire week. No blogging took place since I basically over prepared for my 50 minute section. My evaluation went incredibly well and I really hope I can find a way to keep teaching at the college level. There’s something seriously amazing about getting the bebes to connect themes, dialogue with one another, and take those theories and apply them across lectures & readings. I feel like Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile. Holla! But ya know, Mexican, in 2014s, and with a coed classroom.



American Horror Story, Greys, How to Get Away with Murder, Mindy Project, trying to watch Gotham, The Voice…Sweet Baby Jesus! I am so easily sucked into the damn television. Plus my boy has Football…Sunday, Monday, and Thursday. On top of it all – the SF Giants were in the play-offs!!! HOLLLA WORLD SERIES, HERE WE COME AGAIN! The tv is going to make me obese, oh yah, Biggest Loser is back on too! It’s not the same without Jillian. I am digging Bob being at Comeback Canyon but I may be ready to break up with BL and Grey’s too for that matter. Basically when I wasn’t working, I was watching tv…sad face. Life of a slacker.


Sleep…what’s that and where can I get some?
DUDE….My sleep has been wacky….as in I cannot get a good night’s rest. Maybe it had to do with the over working and eating crap. Oh yes, crap has been my bestie.

peeps 011


Food, cards, m&m’s, cupcakes….it’s ok if it’s for the SF GIANTS!
My boss lady likes to bake when she’s stressed and bring in orange frosted chocolate chip cupcakes into our office. True Story. I wouldn’t mind except it happens like every other week. I’ve also been working hard, not cooking, and eating out which is A FAIL FOR ME! Hellooooo falafel and fries…..just a tamale, rice, beans…hell one beer won’t hurt. This weekend I went urban wine tasting and had two double dosings of brunch. More on that deliciousness for another day. Anyways, Saturday I drunkenly decided I would do the 21 day sugar detox because I needed it. I downloaded the book and today after gourging myself at brunch, I went to the Whole Foodie to prep breakfasts and tomorrows lunch. MIRACLE! Hopefully, I will make it 21 days……jesus drunk decisions.


I ate it like a sexy mofo and am now injured. Hashtag old lady ish for $500, Alex.
During urban wine tasting, I fell….like I wasn’t even drunk yet just trying to walk and read a map. Seriously, how sad old lady is that? It was a very beautiful day and of course I was in a skirt. My right knee slid across the metal on the ground and some sidewalk…let me tell you it’s sexy….sexy like ground beef. No, it’s not that bad but it’s still gross and like a child’s knee. No idea how I’m gonna manage a 10k on Saturday because my knee is all achy and nasty as shizz but we’ll see. Speaking of my knee, where’s my frozen mango? That’s my icing method of choice. Some people go for peas, I’m all about the frozen mango.


So my lovies, that’s where I’ve been. Just getting around like Tupac said but I’m back and ready for more shenanigans.

Good night, kids!
Happy Mother Effing Monday!

Ranty, Ragey, & Pumpkin-y Monday

It’s a sunny Monday in October and thankfully I don’t have to be in the office until later this afternoon. I promise a race recap of the San Jose Rock-N-Roll Half is in the works. This was a wonderful race experience for me despite the unseasonably warm weather and my under training. My legs are pretty achy today and I pushed myself a little too hard to beat the heat. Don’t get it twisted, I am still SO HAPPY I signed up for this race and nostalgia washed over me as I ran through many familiar spaces. Shout out to the Tide House that was handing out free beer to the runners. Like I said a proper review will be forthcoming, Interwebbies.

I declared breakfast my last meal of not caring before I jump back on the get fit Fall bandwagon. I treated myself to a glorious non-fat pumpkin spice latte and headed over to a local bakery for a yummy pumpkin cranberry muffin. A good blogger would of taken a photo but I am a bad blogger. Sorry (as I wipe pumpkin crumbs off my face.)
The chemistry between me and the boy is off today. His back is hurting and I’m a little slow from the half. Not a great combination but I’m not sure how to get him to go to the Doctor to see what’s going on…we may just need a new mattress but our pocketbooks are pretty tight. However we need to figure it out if that’s what he needs. Sigh, boys why are they so dumb!

Not gonna lie I’m feeling a little rage filled and ranty this morning. Perhaps it’s that lovely tidal wave of emotion that arrives with my flood of hormones prior to my lady times. Damn being a lady! I suppose it’s for the best that I’m saving the world from my wrath by hiding out here for a while. The world can thank me later.

Despite my wrath filled rage, Oakland was beautiful and I enjoyed getting a little morning walk in and gorging myself on pumpkin flavored delights. It’s time to get back to business and recommit my morning work-outs. I may even get a Groupon for the gym that’s down the street from me and give that a spin. Also I ate lunch out everyday last week which is FAR FAR FAR from ideal when you work on a college campus filled with greasy college kid food. I need to get bring healthy back to my lunch escapades preferably by bringing my lunch but at this point healthy is all I’m asking of myself.

I honestly cannot believe it’s already October. This year has been a long and rough one…I’m hoping 2015 brings a lot more joy and much less stress for me. I would like to be more peaceful, calm, and balanced. Sometimes I feel like my life is just a damn teeter totter, all ups and downs. I know that no one has it all together but aren’t you supposed to feel like it’s mostly together in your thirties? I hit the BIG 3-4 this March and I’m dreading it. My dread is probably mostly based in the fact that I feel like my life is slightly directionless but I’m not sure what next or where to change things up. Thank god for running. That shizz is seriously keeping me sane. I may not know what the eff I’m doing but at least I can put my feet to the pavement and run 13.1 miles in a single shot.

I guess I’m saying October take it easy on me. We’re heading into the first holiday season without my dear little Grandma which I expect will be nothing short of a soft melancholy falling upon the entire familia. 2014 was characterized by me being completely burnt out by my job and refusing to work additional hours beyond 8-5. My Grandma began declining in January and passing away in June. During this time period, I spent many weekends in San Jose doing my best to care for my mother who was my Grandma’s primary care taker. We structured & ran a brand new orientation from May – late June where I fell even further behind in work. I mean I still traveled to NYC for the Brooklyn half and went to Mexico for an amazing vacay. I tried bar method for several months which was an amazing experience so like I said a lot of good. However it just felt like a hard and overwhelming year.

So October be gentle and help me not throw myself off a bridge.

Alright Interwebbies, enough of this sad bastardness. It’s time to shower, clean up, and hit up the Whole Foodie for my HEALTHY LUNCH! That’s right starting on the Fall Fit bandwagon.


On Fridays we ride motorcycles, drink rose, and link up!!!

mean girls

Time for us to have a glass of bubbly with the always so lovely Amanda of Meet me at the Barre and share all those favorites for the week.

1. Sparking Rose!

Happy Hour! $5.00 glasses last night with my boy. I was clearly a happy camper. What can I say, I look good in pink.

2. Grey’s…I’m back on the crack
This season has got a little heat. I don’t want to spoiler your asses so I’m just gonna say I’m watching and so far so good. I do think it’s time for Shonda to put a pin in Grey’s tie everything up and give us our god damn happy ending. Ya know, like outlining our dream house in candles or something ;)

3.Pharrell on The Voice
As a result, I am having all my office dance parties to his most recent album. And yes, yes I want to ride your motorcycle. Note: I still hate you Miley.

4. Batiste Dry Shampoo in dark brown!
This stuff keeps my dirty girl hair looking soooo good. I just ran out this morning was so super sad face. Target will be on my weekend list to pick up another bottle. I have to stay it does work best if you apply before bed. You will wake up with killer second/third..maybe even fourth day hair. Heart this!!!! LBG APPROVED.
dry sham

Perhaps next week, I will have some race favorites after my Saturday Expo…..Hashtag NERD! Race expo!!! Woo Woo. Alright my loves, thanks for sharing in the Friday Favs!

Ok, now let’s get rough and real. Sigh…we’ve gotta link up with Aubrey for her Fitness Fridays and check ourselves because I am wrecking myself at present. No joke. Alright, Aubrey let’s bring the real.

I’m the last one……Where to start…where to start….Honestly, anywhere will do.

I am seriously under trained for this half. I did hit 9 miles two weeks ago and last weekend I did 10 on the elliptical. I was prepared to be slow and make it happen and BAM HEAT WAVE! No running or working out happened this week. On top of that my race starts at 8:00am and the expected high is 93 degrees. YIKES! Say a little prayer to bebe Jesus for me.

Plus, I have been eating all the food and sleeping horribly. I’ve been up late reading and prepping to teach my class, I sleep in, and buy lunch from the crappy restaurants adjacent to campus. I didn’t step on the scale because that B-I would get all Gretchen on me.

Thank goodness for the maxi dress. I’ve just been hiding out in them all week. Plus I still feel sexy rexy in a maxi. WIN!

After this race, I am putting on my big girl pants and getting my shizz together. I simply cannot go on in this fashion. Mama needs to get her fit on, have a solid 7 hours of rest, and not stuff my face with college kid food.

Monday will be a brand new week and I will get it together. For now, let’s get through Friday and run home where I can be a happy little clam. Hope you all have kick ass weekends planned, interwebbies!!! Let me know what you got going on!


It’s like the Sexy Magic Humpty Kingdom ruled by Kathy or just Happy Hump Day


I admit it’s been a minute since I jumped on Kathy’s amazing Humpty Hump Train. No mas. I’m here with beer and ready to confess my sins. Ok well…maybe not the beer part. Alright, let’s kick it with the Queen of Confessions (Kathy) and your fav brown girl (hopefully me).

Vodka and Soda

1. It’s beautiful here in Cali. Gotta love the global warming. It’s 82 lovely degrees right now and that straight up gives me LAST DAY OF SCHOOL FEVER. I want to be out of the office, sitting on a patio, enjoying a cocktail. I mean the last thing I want to do is tell you all the reasons your petition will be denied over email. Nope….can’t wait to walk home in the sun and squeeze in a run. Holla.

2. We celebrated birthdays in my office today and as a result all the food went into my mouth. BLARGH!!! I am a human garbage disposal lately….WHY??? WHY?? Someone needed to tell me to put down the damn cookies but nope, they all went into my pie hole. Mmmmm, pie. 

3. Last night I was so exhausted I did not wash my face or brush my teeth. I quite literally fell asleep reading for my class. I did wake up and turn the lights off and sleep some more. I woke up at 4:45am to finish most of the reading. This is why I will not get any additional degrees. I can barely manage reading for the class I’m teaching. Props to people in their mid thirties (and older) going to school. You are a bunch of heroes. I’m far too old to work, study, and teach….where are those cookies???

4. If you are living with your partner. You must watch this video. The dinner one is me and my boyfriend ALL THE TIME!! This couple is genius! Did you watch this without me!!!! (That’s the boy).

5. My email box is just a big fat hot mess like this blog title. I wish I could shred all my emails and blame some sort of server error and start fresh. It’s like they have babies while I’m out. AACKKKK….email its killing me.

6. I confess I want an iced coffee sooo badly!!! ADDICT. Hi, my name is little brown girl and I’m addicted to coffee. I will go to coffee several times a day with different people that don’t know one another. Sometimes I say it’s for a “meeting” but really it’s just fueling my addiction.

Shocking, I know.

7. I love Captain EO. It was a momentous occasion in my childhood. It’s a must for me when I’m at the Magic Kingdom plus there’s air in there. With this final confession, interwebbies, I leave you with this.


Tuesday’s Blind Audition & I choose….I choose GWEN!!!

Dear Tuesday,
It’s not even 9:00am and you’ve already thrown me a curve ball. It’s cool…I’m not tripping. It’s just I really need to start going to bed like the old lady I am and running into the City after work is not conducive. You get? Not to mention I have to do the readings for my frosh bebes and grade their papers. A’s for everyone!!! I wish, sadly that would be frowned upon. I guess there will be no running tonight so just move it onto Wednesday.

Yes, Tuesday. I am a whore. But I have to make time for the besties and this includes running into the city like a mad woman.

In other news, my desk got half way cleaned yesterday. HOLLLLLAAA BEATCHES! The other half is staring me down and I still need to tackle this obstacle course of wires…Damn, IT. Who lives like this!!! Oh that’s right, you do.

My San Jose Rock N Roll Half is on Sunday!!! EEkss! Monday, I did some stretching and calisthenics for about 25 minutes just from a little pinterest workout I pinned. See, I do that stuff! Wednesday & Thursday, I’m hoping to get two three milers into my schedule. On Saturday I will probably do a little elliptical just to keep warm and ready. This is gonna be my slowest half of 2014 – TRAINING FAIL – But hey I’m still showing up. I’m gonna try and sign up for a Turkey trot and maybe a Halloween 5k once I get paid but until December they will all be 10ks or less. Hopefully Santa will bring me some new running kicks.


I’m getting addicted to the Voice this Fall. Pharrell and Gwen – I HEART YOU!!! Seriously, Pharrell is just so genuine, it’s nice to balance out Adam Levine’s chatchy-ness. I’m like simmer down, homeboy. Don’t get all sad because everyone loves Pharrell. I’ve never really watched The Voice but I couldn’t pass up this season. I also enjoy Blake Sheldon(?). He’s pretty damn funny. My sister informed me that he and his wife are basically the Bey & Jay of country music. So there you have it.

Also I woke up this morning with this song going on in my head. Why? So Random. There’s not really a video but here’s the song. Also my apologies, there’s a commercial. BLARGH.

Sorry one last Voice obsessive comment. I really CANNOT stand Carson Daily. Granted he seems to have grown up quite a bit from his radio host & TRL days but still the man screams fratty jerk face. I just want to go all Danny Castellano on him because he’s that guy. Carson Daily just seems like that dude that really should of gotten his ass beaten and never did and now he’s outta control.

I’ve started a little Tuesday Bruno Mars dance party in my oficina right now. Damn, this dancing reminds me that we all haven’t chatted about GREY’S!!!! Such a good return episode even though it looked like it was shot against a blue screen. Weird.

Let’s pound our coffee as Bruno sings that young girls will be the death of him. What about the old ladies, Bruno? I guarantee I will BRING YOU DOWN ;) I kid, I kid.


Tracking my Coffee Intake and getting all Kung Fu on mi vida – I’m back!!!

I know I disappeared like that guy in College that skillfully employed the fade away and you didn’t even realize it until you wanted to rock your striped cardi. Anyone?? Maybe just me. I wish it was that simple, my interwebbies. In reality, last week straight kicked my booty. It was one of those weeks where my 8:30-5pm was just effing hard. I didn’t stay late but the minute I got home exhaustion set in and I crumpled into a million little pieces on my couch/bed/floor. We’ve all been there and now I’ve gathered my million little pieces of self and am attempting one of those every other month come backs. So hop along for the ride, k.

My desk at the office is the OG Hot Mess Express. It hurts to look at it. This is partially my own fault and ITs. Those beeatches set up all my new ish in a crazy fashion so everything is looking straight up jacked. I will work it out…that’s on today’s to-do list. Getting my desk to really not look so whack…sigh.

HAPPY NATIONAL COFFEE DAY!!! I love that it’s on a Monday. It just feels right. PS Whole Foods is giving away a free cup of joe today. Starbucks, those bastards, offered me nothing except the did bring back KIND bars! Hooraz! Those new bars from their own line were nasty.

The other news is a spent a small chuck of time this weekend considering getting a health device. I narrowed it down between the Fitbit Flex and the Garmin Vivofit. I’m leaning towards the Vivofit because you can sync it up with a heartrate monitor and that seems pretty damn cool. I’ve wanted a some sort of heart rate device for a while and this seems like it’s the best of both worlds. We will see….damn you Vivofit and your Biggest Loser advertising!!!!
I promise the few (and awesome) peeps that kick it this way that I am alive and will be so much better at blogging this week. Especially since I have my half on Sunday!!! I’m gonna be super slow but make it happen – HOLLA. This little turtle will conquer all!!!

It’s Monday, so let’s all put on the Big Girl panties and take some names. I plan on attacking this desk like Mr. Bruce Lee after I wrap up this post. Wishing you all a coffee filled Monday!!!

Sunday Run Day RANTS

This weekend was bad carby and a lazy-fest. I maintain I needed it…well except for the fight with my boyfriend that lead to a mini cookie binge. I digress, let’s get to the running rants and raves!

Boo yah!!!! 9 miles dunzo. This makes me feel a little less nervous about my upcoming half on October 5th. If I can hit 10 next weekend that would be ideal. I was really stressing since last weekend my long run was 6 miles. I felt fairly confident that I couldn’t run more due to the 80 degree heat and not wanting to dehydrate my ass that weekend. However there was that nagging feeling that maybe I was more untrained than I thought…. Whew. I needed the 9er and I made it happen. Hooraz!

Lets talk about the RANTS now shall we? As runners we all have little things that drive us cray to the mother ‘effing zee and here are a few of mine ;)

Soooo maybe there’s some psychological reason your kids need to sit side by side in your GIANT double wide stroller. I don’t know. I do know the single file doubles are a lot more considerate in a city setting. I’m not a suburb runner and where I run the trail at times is narrow so if instead of being on the trail, you and your double wide were on the sidewalk where there’s more room that would be awesome! Also you’re the wide load and you’re carrying children soooo it would make sense for you to slow your roll and help the people near you…ya know actually move around you??? I mean you’re running with precious cargo – help an lbg out!!! Also FYI you and your double wide don’t have the right of way because you’re running with a stroller. I hate to say it but 7 out of 10 stroller runners are rude. I mean I’m sorry if you’re a super conscious stroller runner and you’re hearing my rant. Who knows maybe its just because I’m a little Mexican and these people are taking their nanny/help rage out on me… This little brown girl should move outta my way!!!! I don’t know??? All I know is I hate the double wides.

2. Dogs that are off leash.

First, I’m pretty sure that at the Lake this is a no-no but people gots to misbehave. Don’t get it twisted, I will kick your off leash doggy if s/he’s too dumb to move out of my way. I’m not trying to curb stomp lassie. To be honest I’m usually trying to run around your small stupid animal companion. Also there’s HELLA runners at the lake so just leash up Fido. Seriously, it’s not that hard. I’m not even that fast!!! C’mon, peeps! Sigh, the battle is real.

3) You run past me cross in front of me and can barely stay half a step ahead of me????
Why??? Why not run next to me? We can be buddies- clearly you’re not fast enough to be in front of me without me kicking your ankles or me having to slow down. Biggest culprit of this – DUDES!

4)Alright this ones a RAVE so you don’t think I’m all angry and ish. I love when you’re running and you pass another runner (usually going in opposite directions) and you give each other the mutual runner smile. Kinda a hey I see you, appreciate you, and we’re in this together. That is the best, homies. The best!

That’s all I got for my running buddies this Sunday night. Fingers crossed Monday is our beattch!